Express UKA CHARITY worker from Hartlepool has broken the record for the world’s longest name, it was announced today.

The name, Red – Wacky League – Antlez – Broke the Stereo – Neon Tide – Bring Back Honesty – Coalition – Feedback – Hand of Aces – Keep Going Captain – Let’s Pretend – Lost State of Dance – Paper Taxis – Lunar Road -Β  Up! Down! Strange! – All and I – Neon Sheep – Eve Hornby – Faye Bradley – AJ Wilde – Michael Rice – Dion Watts – Matthew Appleyard – John Ashurst – Lauren Swales – Zoe Angus – Jaspreet Singh – Emma Matthews – Nicola Brown – Leanne Pickering – Victoria Davies – Rachel Burnside – Gil Parker – Freya Watson – Alisha Watts – James Pearson – Jacob Sotheran-Darley – Beth Lowery – Jasmine Hewitt – Chloe Gibson – Molly Farquhar – Lewis Murphy – Abbie Coulson – Nick Davies – Harvey Parker – Kyran Williamson – Michael Anderson – Bethany Murray – Sophie Hamilton – Amy Wilkins – Emma Simpson – Liam Wales – Jacob Bartram – Alex Hooks – Rebecca Miller – Caitlin Miller – Sean McCloskey – Dominic Parker – Abbey Sharpe – Elena Larkin – Rebecca Simpson – Nick Dixon – Abbie Farrelly – Liam Grieves – Casey Smith – Liam Downing – Ben Wignall – Elizabeth Hann – Danielle Walker – Lauren Glen – James Johnson – Ben Ervine – Kate Burton – James Hudson – Daniel Mayes – Matthew Kitching – Josh Bennett – Evolution – Dreams, made it into the record books after the 41-year-old decided it was time for a change.

Dawn McManus decided to change her name after she set up a children’s charity – Red Dreams – following the sad death of her son Kyle. She asked people to donate to the charity and If the target was broken, Dawn would then change her name to honour those who the charity had helped since it was established in 2008. Dawn, who has been praised locally for her efforts in positively engaging young people, said: β€œI decided to change my name with The Legal Deed Poll Service to raise further awareness for the charity and maintain the necessary funding we need to make Red Dreams a success.

Not for nothin, but this name fucking sucks. “Wacky league?” “Broke the stereo?” “Keep going Captain?” What the fuck is that all about? Name absolutely sucks. I’d go with:

Kevin – Brand new socks – Finding money in your winter coat – Blow job – Donuts – Mr. Met – Clancy.

Everything that I love in this world. Its not the longest name and its not gonna break this bitch’s record but who wouldn’t like that name? People love every single part of that. New socks, a surprising 20 spot, oral sex, donuts, and Mr. Met. Thats the kinda shit that defines a real man. And really, when you think about it, isn’t that what your name is supposed to do? Represent you as a man? Kevin – Brand new socks – Finding money in your winter coat – Blow job – Donuts – Mr. Met – Clancy: put that shit on my tombstone because thats my legacy right there.

Cue the “Because you like giving blow jobs so much?” “You give blow jobs to Mr. Met?” comments.