MILWAUKEE – Some kids ask for Legos, others a train. But Dustin Kruse, 4, of New Berlin, Wisc., wanted something extra special this Christmas — a toilet. Dustin Kruse loves toilets so much that it prompted one local company to grant the child’s wish for a top-of-line, double-flusher. ”They did it right after his fourth birthday. Delivered, installed it, everything,” said Michele Kruse on Newsradio 620 WTMJ’s Wisconsin’s Morning News. Kruse said her son is so fascinated with toilets that he wanted to ask Santa for a particular type of Kohler toilet, a dual-flush brand that allows people to either make a full or a half flush. According to the Journal Sentinel in Milwaukee, Dustin encountered his $380 porcelain dream during a trip to the Kohler Design Center where he was able to touch the high-end model. ”He flushed it,” Michele Kruse told the Journal Sentinel, “and he’s like, ‘Mom wouldn’t that be great if I could have this? Could you imagine all of the things I could do?’ And then he’s looking up in the air and he’s thinking. He’s like, ‘I am asking Santa Claus for this.’”

Hey Little Man I ain’t gonna knock it! If you love toilets then you fuckin love toilets. Sing it from the rooftops if you want. You won’t hear a peep from me. I mean sure I think its a little weird that a half-flush toilet is at the top of your Christmas list. There’s all sorts of cool shit to ask for these days like Playstations and iPads and shit. But whatever. You know how much time any given human spends on a toilet during their lifetime? If you’re anything like me, its like 1/3 of your life. So wanting a high quality toilet isn’t really all that ridiculous. Its more reasonable than these jack offs who spend half their lives with their head under the hood of a car looking at engines and pistons and shit. A high quality shitter will have a bigger impact on your life than a high quality car. Thats a fuckin fact.

So go ahead and judge Dustin Kruse if you want. But next time you’re going crazy because your toilet is clogged or the seat is freezing cold or the water in the bowl is running, just know that Dusty is taking a perfect shit in a perfect bowl and loving every single second of it.