DM – Letting women ‘test drive’ larger breasts before a boob job has led to them picking even bigger implants. The ‘try before you buy’ idea involves wearing a heavily padded bra for two weeks while doing ordinary tasks such as shopping or the school run. It was devised to give women a final chance to consider their options before going under the surgeon’s knife. And on average, women who tried out their breasts chose implants 30 per cent larger than they first planned – at least one additional cup size.

Imagine catching a girl in her new boob test phase? Like your hooking up with her, she takes her bra off, and all of a sudden half her tits disappear. Total mind fuck.

Anyway, I’m gonna go on record as saying that I don’t like fake boobs. They’re too firm, they’re too stiff and they weird me out the way they don’t move when a girl is bouncing up and down. I need a little wiggle in those jugs. There has to be some human quality in those hooters. It’s like when you talk to a really fake person and you can just tell they’re trying too hard to be cool. Same way with boobs. Like hey boobs, just do you. Be yourself and it’s all good.

That being said, if you have smaller than a b-cup you should go get a boob job ASAP so the world starts taking you seriously.