Roc CenterThe 2011 Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree will be lit for the first time on Wednesday, November 30, 2011 with live and taped performances from 7 P.M. – 9 P.M., at Rockefeller Plaza, between West 48th & West 51st Streets and 5th and 6th Avenues, Manhattan. The Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree is a world-wide symbol of the holidays in New York City. The tree, traditionally a Norway Spruce, is illuminated by 30,000 environmentally friendly LED lights on five miles of wire, and crowned by a Swarovski crystal star. Tens of thousands crowd the sidewalks for the event and hundreds of millions watch the Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony broadcast live across the globe.

People always ask me this time of year “Hey KFC are you going to see the tree!”

Yea sure thing folks! Let me go traipse down to the heart of Rockerfeller Center, the only place in Manhattan that is more crowded with asshole tourists than Times Square, all so that I can have a gigantic tree in my field of vision. I’ll meet you there!

For sure not. If you’re over the age of 10 and don’t understand me not wanting to go there I don’t respect you as a person. And listen don’t call me Scrooge. Don’t say I’m some soulless J Double O who hates Christmas. I love Christmas. Best holiday of the year. But that doesn’t mean I wanna go stand outside in the cold next to 80 million little kids and photographer Asians. For real what does “going to see the tree” even entail? You grab your girlfriend and head down to Rock Center and you open your eyes and now have seen the tree. Then what? Ice Skating? BAH! Sure thing toots let me just strap on my figure skates. Go to some overcrowded over priced restaurant? Yea that sounds like fun too. At least with apple picking there is an actual activity, albeit a stupid one, that goes along with the idea. But “going to see the tree” just means going to a spot in Manhattan and looking at something.

I’d rather stay in the comfort of my own apartment wearing a reindeer Christmas sweater listening to the Justin Bieber Christmas album decorating my own tree.

PS – One more thing – it never fucking changes. Still looks like a big green tree with lights on it. Just like last year.