You think Chris Christie gives a fuck about anything other than consuming everything in sight and being a boss? I don’t think so. Dude doesn’t give a shit what it says on the calendar. Doesn’t give a fuck that Halloween is supposed to be on the 31st. He’s Chris goddam Christie. If he wants to move Halloween he’ll do it. He might  swap Thanksgiving and Christmas while he’s at it. He’s a fat man and he knows how important fun size Kit Kats are. I mean fuck, trick or treating probably made Chris Christie the man he is today. I bet at any given moment he’s in his governors mansion with a pillow case full of Halloween candy.

I’ll tell you who’s not making it through this disaster, and thats the mayor of Atlantic City. Christie is flat out gonna beat that dude’s ass for not telling people in AC to evacuate. Ignoring direct orders from the boss is some Code Red type shit. Hey Atlantic City mayor – who do you think you are? Do you even have personalized sweatshirts?? This ain’t Boardwalk Empire, bro. This is the real world. Chris Christie’s world. You’re just living in it.