FUCK this guy

SAN FRANCISCO — The graffiti artist who took Facebook stock instead of cash for painting the walls of the social network’s first headquarters made a smart bet. The shares owned by the artist, David Choe, are expected to be worth upward of $200 million when Facebook stock trades publicly later this year. The social network company announced its $5 billion public offering Wednesday afternoon, which is expected to value the whole company at $75 billion to $100 billion. In 2005, Mr. Choe was invited to paint murals on the walls of Facebook’s first offices in Palo Alto, Calif., by Sean Parker, then Facebook’s president. As pay, Mr. Parker offered Mr. Choe a choice between cash in the “thousands of dollars,” according to several people who know Mr. Choe, or stock then worth about the same. Mr. Choe, who has said that at the time that he thought the idea of Facebook was “ridiculous and pointless,” nevertheless chose the stock. Many “advisers” to the company at that time, which is how Mr. Choe would have been classified, would have received about 0.1 to 0.25 percent of the company, according to a former Facebook employee. That may sound like a paltry amount, but a stake that size is worth hundreds of millions of dollars, based on a market value of $100 billion. Mr. Choe’s payment is valued at roughly $200 million, according to a number of people who know Mr. Choe and Facebook executives.

I am so fucking sick of shit like this not happening to me. Unless somebody comes along and buys Barstool for 100 billion bucks I don’t think this is ever gonna happen. I shoulda told Portnoy I’d blog completely for free in exchange for like 49% of the company. Cash in on all these college sluts who love to dance to techno music with this Blackout Tour. But nope. I just took the measly salary like a fuckin dope. I was like “Uhh this big shnozed dude wants to give me some money to post hot chicks and throw some parties. Sounds good to me.” Zero foresight. Always thinking small.

PS – Mark Zuckerberg might be the ballsiest dude in the history of business. Dude has spent the past decade turning down absurd amounts of money because he knew he was worth so much more. Turned down a billion bucks. Then turned down $15 billion. Now its worth like $90 billion and he’s got 30 billion of his own. And still controls the company. Thats fucking insane. Like you literally have to be a little bit unstable to pull that off. If I ever hear Portnoy is rejecting big time offers because he thinks he’s the next Zuckerberg I’ll fucking strangle him.