Saddam Hussein, Osama bin Laden, Whitey Bulger, and Charles Wesley. Some of the greatest criminal masterminds of our time. I mean this 71 year old bag of bones has been on the run for 6 years! That’s a long fucking time. When he started this mission his life expectancy wasn’t even 6 more years. Yet he pressed on, writing SLA on countless telephone poles. Who gives a fuck if no one had any idea what SLA stood for? This guy wanted a gang and goddammit he was gonna get one.

I gotta be honest though, as small time as spray painting a few letters may seem, I think the Clearwater police nipped this guy just in time. There is nothing more dangerous that an old person. They got nothing but time. Since my grandfather retired, he’s taken a liking to the medical field. All the guy does is watch medical DVDs and read medical books. I’m pretty sure he’s one of this country’s leading authorities on heart surgery now. Not even kidding one bit. We’re just lucky that he took to medicine rather than creating some new mega army. Plus an old person scorned is nothing to thumb your nose at, old people and ex-lovers are two things you don’t fuck with. I still get shit about the time I was supposed to help my grandfather set-up his TV but I didn’t show up. Shit was like 10 years ago and every time we make plans it still ends with “Not gonna forget like you did with the TV, right?” For people who can hardly remember what month it is, old people hold one hell of a grudge. It’s like old people only care about the weather and getting even. A dangerous combo.

PS – absolutely nothing says sanity like spray painting it on hundreds of telephone poles. Fact.