Gumdrop’s Gamble – Stoolie Suggestions Welcome
Plus
Equals surefire nausea/internet gold
First thing’s first, lets address this morning’s debacle. Huge swing and a miss from myself and Gumdrop. We tried to do something different because ordinarily there aren’t two bloggers writing one post, but it was pretty much as big of a failure as Barstool has ever seen. Real time back and forth banter just doesn’t translate into blogging. Going forward you’ll just see normal blogs from each of us.
Now, on to the gambling. When two teams meet up for a Superbowl, championship or an important playoff series, it’s not uncommon to see the political big wigs of each city step up to the wagering table and make a little bet. Since I’m the self-proclaimed Poet Laureate of Ranger Nation and Gumdrop is the obese embodiment of the common Devils fan, it only seems appropriate that we gamble what’s left of our internet dignity on the outcome of this Eastern Conference Final.
Now I know what I want if the Rangers win. Did I say “if”? I meant “when”. WHEN the Rangers win, I’m going to gather every piece of Blueshirt clothing I can get my hands on and have the Gum to do a little outfit modeling in the style of Melanie Inglesias’ famous flip books. He’ll walk in with his barely-fits Devils jersey on and be forced to change into and out of way-too-small Rangers wear while the entire internet pukes all over its collective keyboard. Probably unwatchable but pure gold nonetheless. I told Gumdrop to come up with something equally as diabolical and embarrassing, but he’s apparently too busy reading take out menus like they’re romance novels so no counter-bet has yet been proposed.
Since you stoolies have such a knack for suggesting demeaning activities for others to go do, I figured we should open up ideas in the comment section and see what twisted schemes you slobs can conjure up. So have at it, Devils fans and general Osgood-haters. Come up with the most creative punishment possible for me if the Devils win. Not that any of it will matter - my Rangers will bail me out of whatever psychotic suggestion gets the Gum’s approval anyways…
Blowjob or anal sex with a tranny. Lets see how much you pussies really love your teams
two dicks with no chicks find yourself in some serious shit…..stop posting pics of dudes one pic was enough.
osgood, i dont think gumdrop’s heart could handle all of that shimmying and shaking-you might want to consider something else for his own personal safety. also melanie iglesias might be the hottest girl in the world.
Buy him 3 chipotle burritos, sit on his lap when he shits, wipe his ass, and then top it off with a classic choco swirly. Can’t miss.
suicide
If the Devils win you have to dress up in a slutty devil halloween costume, walk around on Broadway holding a sign “keep god out of nyc”
You gotta feltch or be feltched. After this mornings blog I’m not sure who plays for which team
Rangers Win = Gum drop stops blogging, Osgood quits
Devils Win = vice versa
Loser buys the winner a Jeremy Lin Knicks jersey. You know, the “Most Beloved Athlete” in the NY/NJ area. Because 99% of NY doesn’t seem to know they have a hockey team there.
It’s beginning to feel a lot like this year: http://hookedonhockeymagazine.com/top-15-nhl-teams-of-all-time-13/
Zero percent chance that Gumdrop doesn’t commit suicide by Friday
Here it
Is…..
surfnturf says at May 15, 2012 at 8:33 pm
If the Devils win you have to dress up in a slutty devil halloween costume, walk around on Broadway holding a sign %u201Ckeep god out of nyc%u201D
if gumdrop loses, make him do the truffle shuffle.
loving the bolgs osgood, the back and forth with gumdrop is funny shit
Is it just me, or does Gumdrop resemble the bastard child between Kevin Smith and Kevin James??….also, the loser should give Manzo their job.. and then commit suicide as mad broseph suggested..
Loser gets their whole body waxed by a Korean man. And yes Gumdrop, thy includes your vile taint.
@peopleschamp, yes, yes he does. I’m betting Gumdrop’s real name is Kevin as well.
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Loser wears the winner’s jersey, goes to Times Square and does the Hog Back Growl. For those that dont know the Hog Back Growl is when you drop your drawers, stuff your dick between your legs and bend over so your dick is sticking out the back of your legs by your asshole and you let out a giant growl like a mongrel dog.
@atlcarpetmuncher fucking hilarious bro, started laughing out loud
if gumdrop wins, osgood quits. if osgood wins, osgood quits. its a win win for the stoolies and america
@cancel philly site …. if you think thats fucking hilarious than you just proved that you are most likely a middle school student.. which makes sense considering you spend hours on barstools comment section yet have never added a semi funny comment… so cancel yourself by jumping off a bridge you pathetic fucking loser.. go rangers
well put by @nythebestcity … I say Osgood’s punishment would have to be to try and write a funny/informative blog, now that would be a true challenge. an impossible one. that being said, he won’t have to do anything. Rangers in 6. Suck our dicks Jersey
Osgood jumps out a window, thats all.
Devils in 5 pussy boy.
I’m not so sure Osgood (who has legitimately taught me a thing or two about that Canadian sport hockey) should be trying to break into the humor business here. Leave the jokes to KFC Osgood. Gumdrop is automatically a little bit funny (which is a little bit funnier than you) due to his little “weight problem.” Just shut the fuck up and break down games.
Gumdrop has fairly attractive girlfriend who weighs as much as his left leg and is way out of his league. Gumdrop 1, Osgood 0.
Gumdrop should have to………….go on a DIET!!! Earth shattering experience for him I’m sure.
you guys definitely suck each others dicks.