Equals surefire nausea/internet gold
First thing’s first, lets address this morning’s debacle. Huge swing and a miss from myself and Gumdrop. We tried to do something different because ordinarily there aren’t two bloggers writing one post, but it was pretty much as big of a failure as Barstool has ever seen. Real time back and forth banter just doesn’t translate into blogging. Going forward you’ll just see normal blogs from each of us.
Now, on to the gambling. When two teams meet up for a Superbowl, championship or an important playoff series, it’s not uncommon to see the political big wigs of each city step up to the wagering table and make a little bet. Since I’m the self-proclaimed Poet Laureate of Ranger Nation and Gumdrop is the obese embodiment of the common Devils fan, it only seems appropriate that we gamble what’s left of our internet dignity on the outcome of this Eastern Conference Final.
Now I know what I want if the Rangers win. Did I say “if”? I meant “when”. WHEN the Rangers win, I’m going to gather every piece of Blueshirt clothing I can get my hands on and have the Gum to do a little outfit modeling in the style of Melanie Inglesias’ famous flip books. He’ll walk in with his barely-fits Devils jersey on and be forced to change into and out of way-too-small Rangers wear while the entire internet pukes all over its collective keyboard. Probably unwatchable but pure gold nonetheless. I told Gumdrop to come up with something equally as diabolical and embarrassing, but he’s apparently too busy reading take out menus like they’re romance novels so no counter-bet has yet been proposed.
Since you stoolies have such a knack for suggesting demeaning activities for others to go do, I figured we should open up ideas in the comment section and see what twisted schemes you slobs can conjure up. So have at it, Devils fans and general Osgood-haters. Come up with the most creative punishment possible for me if the Devils win. Not that any of it will matter - my Rangers will bail me out of whatever psychotic suggestion gets the Gum’s approval anyways…