Daily Pilot - In what firefighters described as a once-in-a-lifetime call, officials with the Costa Mesa Fire Department’s Urban Search and Rescue squad were summoned early Tuesday morning to Hoag Memorial Hospital Presbyterian in Newport Beach to save another man’s penis from perishing. The man, whom authorities declined to identify, other than saying that he was in his 50s, had apparently put his penis through the hole of a steel, ring-shaped dumbbell weight fastener, two or three days earlier. The device got stuck, and he couldn’t remove it. The penis had blackened and swollen to five times its normal size, authorities said. In order to remove the ring, firefighters had to use a saw to cut through it. “They said his comment was, ‘This will make me the chief of my tribe,’” said Costa Mesa Battalion Chief Scott Broussard. The man thought the weight from the steel object would make his organ longer, but what he did to it almost rendered it useless, authorities said. The steel collar-like fastener cut off circulation to the man’s penis, said Capt. Dave Kearley. As a result, blood could not flow out of it, and it swelled to the point that the man couldn’t remove the ring, Kearley said. Broussard added that doctors at Hoag had told the man, who refused immediate treatment, that if he waited any longer to remove the fastener, the flesh in his penis would die.
Yikes. There’s crazy then there’s insane. That guy on the subway who wears a car mat as a skirt and eats his shit is crazy. But the guy that puts a weight fastener on his dick then waits three days to call for help after it turns black and swells to 5 times it’s size? Well, that’s insane. No ifs ands or buts about that one. Definitely the wrong way to be chief of your tribe that’s for sure. Like I get it, it takes a lot for me to accept medical help too. I get sick every other week but I usually wait until I’m puking and shitting fire all over my bed with a 105 fever before I call the doctor. But when it comes to certain things I’m taking zero chances. That includes the flesh falling off my dick. Probably would have 911 on speed dial from that one.