NBCIt was the last game of the regular season for Western Christian School (Upland, Calif.), and pitcher Ryan Olson was having what one might call a dominating performance. Not only was he working on a perfect game, but he had struck out all 20 batters he faced. But with two out in the seventh (high school games go seven innings), Olson was denied a shot at strikeout No. 21 — or a Double Secret Perfect Game, as Dean Wormer might call it. Los Angeles Times. The junior pitcher struck out 20 batters in 6 2/3 innings against Calvary Murrieta on Thursday. He was pulled with one batter to go so a senior could play on senior day. Western Christian won, 6-0. Olson sounds like a nice kid, and was probably happy to give way to his senior teammate in the final game of the season. But if I’m that senior, I have to say that I might decline to go in. How often does someone get a chance for a Double Secret Perfect Game? If it’s senior day, maybe they should have started that guy in the first place instead of giving him just a token appearance.

I talk a lot of tough guy shit on this blog that I probably could never back up. But when I tell you if I was 1 out away from a 21 up, 21 down, 21 strikeout perfect game, there is literally no way I’m letting my coach take me out of that game. You would have to pry that ball from the clutches of my lifeless fingers before someone else closed out that game. I don’t care if its Senior Day. I don’t care if that kid is retarded and Autistic and has cancer and has 1 day to live and his Make A Wish dream is to close out a high school baseball game. Don’t care. Sorry bro. You can be a closer in heaven. Because right now I’ve K’d every single jabroni in the opposing dugout and I am closing out this motherfucking game.

So while most people will debate whether the biggest asshole is the coach, or the senior who wanted to get in the game, the biggest asshole is the kid on the mound for letting it happen in the first place. There’s a few times “over my dead body” should be a phrase used in the literal sense and a perfect game of nothing but strikeouts is one of them.