I have a quick question – is this the most pathetic gymnasium in the history of competitive basketball? I mean fucking forget about Chunk From The Goonies being 70 pounds heavier than any other player on the court with his gray t shirt that sticks out the bottom of his jersey. Thats the most preposterous look I’ve ever seen on a basketball court and it doesn’t even begin to describe how pathetic this scene was.

First of all, the Red Team is straight up an embarrassment. Stating the obvious, that was the worst last second defense I’ve ever seen in my life. #12 looked like a goddam ballerina out there. Then how about this scene:

2 jabronis and a fucking chick clapping it up for the other team. Hey toots, Augustus Gloop just busted a nut all over you and your two buddies. Maybe you should just walk to the bench with your heads hanging in shame rather than celebrating with him?

Then next thing you know, we got the whole goddam town rushing the court. Who are these two kids in street clothes hugging it out???

Little girls rushing the floor. At one point a kid with no shoes runs by. There are Dads everywhere trying to do high fives and shit. Where the fuck are we?? I don’t even know if this was a game winner. This could be like the end of the 3rd for all I know. Looks like they’re all about to head back out there for the 4th and we got kids partying like its a Sweet 16. Just the most tremendous amount of awkwardness packed into one gymnasium. Fatso is the least of this town’s worries.