Time - We’re actually surprised this didn’t exist already. (Or maybe it was just so underground, we wouldn’t have heard of it.) New York Magazine reports that the opening-any-minute joint, the Westway in New York, will be the latest mainstream thing that mainstream-be-damned hipsters embrace. For the irony of it all, of course. Predictably, owners Matt Kliegman and Carlos Quirarte maintain that the place will not be a strip club. “We’re not strip-joint owners. We’re not strip-joint guys,” Quirarte told NY Mag‘s Alice Gregory, who noted that he was “mere feet from a polished pole” as he said it. They explain that since the property used to house a series of strip clubs, they are simply honoring the tradition of the place by offering “male go-go dancing on Sundays and female topless go-go dancing the following night.”

Ohhhh looks who wants to stare at tits and ass now? Look who wants to come down from their Ivory Tower and motorboat some strippers? Fucking hipsters. Hip-ocrtical bastards. See what I did there? You can’t have it both ways. Like if you want to talk down to me because I like to drink Bud Light on the Upper East Side and listen to rap music, then you better spend your time doing hipster shit like turning dead mice into mini humans. Don’t let me catch you enjoying a lap dance to Ke$ha.

I can’t wait for the excuses hipsters will spew about this place. These two owners can’t even bring themselves to say the place is a strip club. Like its physically impossible for them to be apart of something that the general population enjoys. Good luck telling the world that T&A is “something really cool you’ve probably never heard of it” you assholes.