So the NHL playoffs has brought to light that fact that hockey fans are hands down the most irrational group of fans in existence. They have such a chip on their shoulder because their League sucked for so long and nobody respects them that they always, automatically get so fired up and so defensive anytime anything happens. They’re almost like Blackberry owners. Blackberry owners know their phones suck so anytime a person with an iPhone makes a comment its like they immediately take offense and get defensive. I could be like “I think I have that song on my iPhone, hang on” and a Blackberry person would be like “What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Blackberries can play music too. Just don’t even talk about phones if you’re not informed.” Ok, psycho. Same shit with hockey nuts. Like every single time I tweet something about hockey I immediately get “Bro you don’t know hockey so just shut the fuck up!” “Why are you even talking you’re not a real hockey fan!” “You are the worst person at Barstool I wish you would get fired and/or lose your life.” Same exact shit every time. Broken record from you hockey diehards like you’re the only ones on the planet earth allowed to discuss the sport.
And thats when I realized. Hockey fans are the ultimate hipsters. They love something that has been wildly unpopular for so long and they cannot STAND anybody enjoying the sport casually like it’s mainstream. Its exactly like the Brooklyn hipsters who are like “I liked the band before they got popular.” Now that the NHL has made a bit of a comeback and there’s some new viewers, or every time baseball/football/basketball fans pay attention for playoff hockey, they get so fucking angry and spiteful and they climb up on their High Horses. Its crazy. Easiest group of puppets to make dance. I could tweet “Man I really hope Lundqvist hits a home run tonight” and people would be like “YOU IDIOT THIS IS HOCKEY NOT BASEBALL THERE ARE NO HOME RUNS. JUST STICK TO GIRLY SPORTS YOU FAGGOT!” Ease up you fuckin nancies. The NHL is the 4th most popular league. It has been for a while, it probably will be forever. But the playoffs are exciting, and there are always gonna be casual fans watching come April. Not everyone is Barry Melrose. Now shut the fuck up and just be happy people like me are tuning in every now and then so you’re not on the goddam Versus Channel anymore.