Home Run Derby Stoolie Giveaway
Home Run Derby is like a day at the beach. It’s something we get really excited for, but in reality, it’s too long, it’s not as fun as we thought it would be, and there’s way more spanish people than we were prepared for. If you try and tell me that by the middle rounds, you’re not flipping through channels to see what’s on FX, you’re lying. The excitement picks up again for the finals, but even Chris Berman loses a little spunk in his “back, back, back, gone’s” the second time through the lineup. If only there was some way to add intrigue and importance throughout, so we don’t have to resort to watching the commercialized, edited version of Starsky and Hutch on TBS for the 50th time…
Introducing to you, the Home Run Derby Stoolie Giveaway:
Choose a player to whom you will pledge your undying allegiance. The list of 2012 Derby participants is as follows:
National League: Matt Kemp, Carlos Gonzalez, Carlos Beltran, Andrew McCutchen
American League: Robinson Cano, Jose Bautista, Mark Trumbo, Prince Fielder
Tweet @StoolPizzaBoy, ending your message with your player selection hashtagged like this: “Blah blah blah. Strasser’s a fag. Die. #BarstoolRobinsonCano.” Once the derby ends, I will select a random stoolie who A. follows me and B. chose the correct hitter. I will retweet his or her message and give away some Summer Swag, as well.
Fuck, I was about to do this until you included the caveat that I have to follow you as well.. Just not worth it.
Wow what an awesome idea, I’m so fucking excited for this. If there’s anything that makes the Home Run Derby more interesting, it’s definitely free gay tank tops, thanks Strasser
Fuck you Strasshole and your lame attempt to get Twitter followers. How about I follow you while you’re delivering pizza and I push you off your Huffy and steal the pie.
fuck you, i dont want to follow you out of everyone but u can follow me fag @kingblackdude
I’d rather cut of my balls with the jagged top of a rusty can, put them in a blender, whip them into a strawberry daiquiri and drink it out of Adam Lamberts ass than voluntarily subject myself to more of your chickenshit musings.
Strasser, go watch the Seinfeld episode where George does the opposite of everything. It’s the only way to get your life on track, bc you sir are one pathetic loser
Strasser did you fuck every single stoolie’s girl? Never seen so much hatred in my entire life.
If you’re a dude and have a Twitter account you might as well just admit you love cock.
As much as you deserve to be chirped for the weak attempt at twitter followers – ” way more spanish people than we were prepared for.” was gold
Strasser was like the fake Sportscenter anchor they hired right out of high school. Tons of potential, but completely shits himself in the spotlight.. “Jimmy Key, what is he like 45?…I mean I could hit Jimmy Key. You saw the game Jack, he sucked!”
P.S. I’d rather follow notBlackDude on twitter than read your lame quips about life. #canoback2backchampfuckyoustrasserdiebutxlargepepperonibeforeyougo
way more spanish people than we prepared for. hilarious. people hate him cause people only know how to express their yankee jealousy by hatred but the dude has some good lines
Watch out for Daddy Cano tonight. Probably going to kill somebody.
u pick a winner yet?