Right off the bat I knew this video was gonna be shitty because nobody says “Where is the train?” People do sit there pouting and leaning over the platform staring down the tunnel to see if they can see the train headlights, but nobody actually starts talking out loud to themselves asking where the train is. And lo and behold the rest of this video is just a bunch douchey bougie quotes from hipster-ish people. I mean honestly if I’m ever sitting in the Park talking about something I read in the Times, just put a bullet in my head.

The reality of the matter I think is that New Yorkers don’t actually say much. There’s like 10 billion people on the streets and in the subway every morning and its dead quiet. So much so that it pisses people off when they can hear music from other peoples head phones, or all you hear on the streets are bus engines or cabs honking. Its like a giant library of people who all hate each other. In my head I’m saying all sorts of shit – judging homeless people. Making fun of Asians. Thinking about who I’d shoot first on the subway if I had a gun. But I don’t ever say anything.

PS – Only thing thats accurate is saying “I’ve never been to the Empire State Building/Statue of Liberty.” People from New York love to say that shit.