So as most of you know, in a past life before I flushed my education and future down the toilet to become a blogger, I was a Cubicle Monkey in the world of finance. Interned on a trading floor for a brief moment before ALT ESV’ing my way through life like a pathetic lemming. So throughout the years I’ve been around grown men who act like children and play games and contests and all that shit just to make every minute that much less miserable on their way to collecting a paycheck. Shit like rookies on the NYMEX getting their spurs or running legit button hook patterns with the mini football in the office or challenging each other to preposterous bets. Well, a buddy of mine is currently in the midst of quite possibly my favorite challenge/bet of all time. Dude has to eat street meat every single day for lunch for the entire month of November, and his coworker will pay for it every single day. Only stipulation is that it can’t be any of those chicken kebabs because those are kind of legit, and every now and then he gets a bonus and he’s allowed to get a Double Down from KFC. For the past 2 weeks he’s eaten nothing but dirty water dogs and those gross lamb platters and all that junk. Every day, his coworker slaps a 5 dollar bill down on his desk, my boy chows down on some Grade F monkey meat, and provides a weekly email update of his street meat progress:
Thursday Oct 28- 6th and 53rd. $4- Lamb Platter and rice **** comes with bread, pretty good lamb, good sauce. Can’t complain about this dish. Also separate guy preparing food to taking cash.
Friday Oct 29- 7th and 49th. $4 Lamb Gyro *** In a Pita, pretty decent. Place seemed moderately clean. Offered a lot of options for food
Mon Nov 1- 8th and 51st. $5 Chicken over Rice. **** Chicken was excellent. Seemed somewhat clean, a little more limited in the options, but put some fresh green pepper in- so seems like I made the healthy choice today.
Tuesday Nov 2- 7th and 50th SE Corner- $6 3 hotdogs (hot water dogs)** Dude was real grimy about it, almost took pride counting out the change with his plastic gloves on. Also got the buns extremely moist/soggy. Sub par dog experience.
Wednesday Nov 3- 7th and 56th SW Corner- $4.50 3 jumbo dogs. *** highlights of this place were cleanliness of ice, having relish, dry jumbo dogs on a heating pan, as well as $1 water dogs. Hot dogs unfortunately seemed very thick skinned and weren’t good, but at least the buns weren’t moist today- I may be back on water dogs soon…
Thursday Nov 4- 7th and 51st NE Corner- $8.50 Jerk Chicken over Rice ***** Went to the Jamaican Dutchy in the pouring rain. Not only did it appear clean the chicken was ridiculously good, I’m not a big rice guy, but that wasn’t bad either, and a little fried plantain as well should keep me running on all cylinders. Great Day.
Friday Nov 5- $6 *** Water dogs from 7th and 50th, NW Corner. This guy cooks a mean water dog. Shakes it off pretty well leaving the bun absent of moisture- even in the cold weather.
Mon Nov 8- $6 ** Water dogs from 48th and Broadway SW corner. A little bit wet, kind of dirty
Tuesday Nov 9- $6 **** Lamb over Rice from 50th and 6th Ave SW Corner. Standard fair, pretty good.
Wednesday Nov 10- $5 **** Chicken over Rice from 50th and 6th Ave NW corner- appeared to be the exact same as yesterday, but a dollar cheaper.
Thursday Nov 11- $6 ** 3 water dogs from 50th and Broadway NW Corner. Pretty shoddy dogs. Guy used no gloves and was on cell phone… Didn’t taste horrible, but I expect more from my dog vendors.
Friday Nov 12- $4 **** 2 water dogs at 50th and 7th NW corner, as well as $7 for a chicken double down from KFC. The double down was delectable. And the dogs were standard fare- on the good side for sure as this came from my favorite water dog vendor so far. Probably shouldn’t eat these double downs every day though, got to watch out for the health.
Sickest part of this whole deal is if he makes it through November, the month of December will be all McDonalds. His coworker said he will deliver free Micky D’s to his desk every day for the next month. My boy hasn’t even missed a beat. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him healthier actually. Part of me thinks he’s just always eaten rat meat and now he just found some sucker who’s willing to pay him to do it. Pretty remarkable in a disgusting, impoverished sort of way. I think I could do about 1 week before I gave in and just paid for my own lunch like a normal human. But that McDonalds at the end of the rainbow is a pretty enticing goal.
Anyway, time to vote. Do you think you could eat street meat for an entire month straight?
Vote 1 for No chance, eating rats and pigeon meat is not a good look Vote 10 for its free, pretty tasty, and free McD’s for a month is worth losing a few years off your life