My favorite part of this hurricane hysteria is how people are shacking up with each other for like 2 or 3 straight days with the possibility of not leaving the house at all. You know how many couples are getting some SERIOUS quality time with each other right now? People who haven’t been dating that long but are gonna be in each other’s faces for the next 48 hours or so? No escape. Thats some make or break shit right there.
You know how many chicks are trying to figure out if they can go 2 and a half days without taking a dump because they don’t want to stink up their new boyfriend’s bathroom? You know how many dudes are biting their nails worried about when their next You Jizz session is gonna be? Sure, you can have some Hurricane Sex. Drink some wine, get a little kinky. That kills like an hour. 47 more to go. What next? You wanna watch Sportscenter, she wants to watch whatever the fuck chicks watch in the morning. Monday football is on tonight, yea! Except she wants to watch the Pretty Little Liars Halloween special she has DVR’d. The room smells really bad and you know you didn’t fart so you know it was her but do you say anything? The power goes out and now you just have to talk to each other and shit. These are the true trials and tribulations that Hurricane Sandy will set forth – the new couples who have to endure 2 straight days with each other. I guarantee there’s at least several fatalities from dudes who just said “fuck it” 36 hours in and goes outside and lets Sandy sweep him away. Its a kinder fate than making small talk with a chick for 2 days straight.
PS – Single dudes are just gonna get wrecked and smoke weed and watch sports and masturbate for the next two days and I’m exceptionally jealous of that.