Oreos

Daily MailA woman who ate the cream filling from a box of Oreos, leaving the discarded chocolate cookies dry, has been humorously threatened with divorce by her outraged husband. Reddit user showtunesaboutbacon posted a photo of her guilty late-night snacking crime on the social networking site. She wrote: ‘Ate the cream from the oreo and put the cookies back in the bag – Woke up to find this note … I’m a monster [sic].’ Her husband, clearly fuming that there were no complete Oreos remaining, left a Post-It note on the packet that read: ‘I’m considering divorce.’ His brief missive left little doubt as to his feelings about his wife’s actions, and, while rooted in humor, sparked a strong response from the Reddit community, which largely believes that Oreo cookie and filling should not be parted. ‘OP is lucky that she found that note and not the actual divorce papers,’ one wrote. Another said: ‘Really dodged a bullet there.’ Some even had suggestions for revenge, with one Redditor suggesting that the husband try replacing the Oreo cream filling with toothpaste. ‘Takes two or three cookies to figure out exactly what is wrong,’ they said.

There’s only a couple things in this world that are worth going through the divorce process. Because most things fall under the “cheaper to keep her” umbrella. There’s only a few violations that are really worth going through the horrible and expensive process that is divorce. One is cheating. Just not worth sharing your paycheck and your house and your life with someone who’s fucking another person.

Eating all the goddam cream out of an entire bag of Oreos and putting the chocolate cookie skeletons back is absolutely next on that list. It is for sure a firable offense. The level of disrespect required to not only ruin an entire bag by only eating half of the sandwich cookies, but then put back the cookie shells which you dragged your teeth all over, is astounding. Its like eating all the marshmallows out of a box of Lucky Charms and leaving the shitty oats in the box. Its even worse than that. Its leaving just the oats in the box and then also leaving one centimeter of milk in the carton in the fridge for the person trying to eat that bowl of cereal next.

Especially considering this bitch has a fucking belly full of Oreo cream. You couldn’t leave me like 5 cookies for my night time snack? You needed another few mouthfuls of straight sugar icing because the 2 pounds that was already in your stomach wasn’t enough? You selfish bitch. I’d rather find my wife fucking the gardener than pull a stunt like this with me.