Alright. The $250,000 retirement goal is a bit lofty. But I’m just $49,061 short of this bad boy:

MWELabHand built to your requirements, the Emperor 200 is the ultimate computer workstation with several exclusive features such as touch screen control center, air filtering system, light therapy, electric powered leather seat, up to 3 x 27″ LED screens and a breathtaking sound! Be bold and unique! MSRP: $49,150 US

Can you imagine me blogging hot fire from this thing ever day? Like a goddam blogging spaceship. I need this right here. Cropping asses and creepin on facebook like I’m in some sort of space pod from NASA.

But in the event I don’t raise 50 grand for this thing I might just take my 89 bucks and get a massage with a happy ending.