Salon – A meta-American movie, a Godardian spoof of the whole genre, an attempt to see how stupid and insulting a motion picture can be and still be a big hit.

Slate – So lazily put together that it relies on flashbacks from its predecessor for the majority of its character development.

ContactMusic – There wasn’t really anywhere for the story to go after 2008′s surprise hit Taken, and this movie quickly proves that. Not only does it have that same appalling moral vacuum at the centre, but the plot becomes increasingly absurd as it progresses.

Observer – There is virtually no plot, just a succession of screeching chases and absurdly violent fights, some risible sleuthing and a great deal of talking on mobiles. 

Hey critics, how about shutting the fuck up real quick? Stop trashing Taken 2. It’s basically my favorite movie ever. I mean sure, I haven’t seen it yet, but who cares? It’s fucking Taken 2! It’s Liam Neeson being badass and murdering people. It’s a retired CIA operative rescuing his family and rattling off sick one liners that I’ll no doubt quote for years to come. It’s essentially an hour and a half of ass-kickery that will leave me both pumped up and thankful that Bryan Mills was once again able to save his loved ones from the evil grips of sex-trafficking Eastern Europeans. It simply doesn’t get any better than Taken 2 and nobody can tell me otherwise.

So does anyone know where I can illegally download it online cause you’re crazy if you think I’m shelling out $14.50 to see it in the theater.