So I’ve spent all morning engaging in a facebook battle with Dark Guardian from the HBO Documentary Superheros because my life is one big joke and I do stuff like this to occupy myself. So for those of you who didn’t see the documentary, Dark Guardian is a self proclaimed super hero of the “New York Initiative.” He wears a motorcycle jacket and eye black watches over the streets of Gotham. In the documentary they focused on one scene where he went to stop the drug dealers at Washington Square Park. Now, trying to stop the drug trade in Washington Square Park is like trying to stop the sun from rising in the morning. Its like trying to get Feitelberg to piss in a toilet instead of a bed when he’s drunk. It just can’t be done. So in this one scene D.G. goes up to some monster black dude who’s slangin rock. Dude had to be, oh I dunno, 6’10, 650 pounds. He was like the Big Show. And DG is like “Hey man move it along you can’t do that its illegal.” And the drug dealer says something to the effect of “Shut the fuck up and get the fuck out of here” so Dark Guardian calls the police. Great superhero work, bro. I can walk around the city calling the cops too. Don’t need to dress up or anything for that. He didn’t even use one special power or one crime fighting gadget. Just whipped out the Blackberry and called 911. So I just figured I needed to tell it like it is. All these people on the fan page sucking his super dick like “keep up the good work! thanks for putting yourself in danger!” Whatever dude. Guy just calls the cops.
And then Dark Guardian deleted my post and banned me from his fan page. Real mature, Dark Guardian. Real mature. For the record I think Mr. Xtreme probably saved 4 or 5 babies from burning buildings while you engaged in a social media spat with a lowly smut peddler. Evil never sleeps. Real heroes don’t have time for facebook. And if you’re serious about trying to fight me and my attitude, you name the time and place, bro. We can have a “see who can call the police faster” battle and determine the real hero.
PS – Picture of you carrying the groceries is as intimidating as they come.