I just pray this really sad girl is Buck Showalter’s daughter and he has to explain to her why daddy let the entire city down. And then he finds out she’s pregnant. Fuck you, Buck Showalter. 

I’m really beginning to hate this fucking city. This fucking city that stormed the bandwagon, knocked it over, and then jumped off after a 5 run ninth… Aaaaand we’re back to Yankee Stadium south.

That’s 1. Great way to open the series with a dominant performance by CC. After a season-long debate of whether or not he’s an ace, there was absolutely no question tonight. Outside of one bad pitch in the 3rd, nothing but rape and destruction down there in Baltimore. Mark Reynolds looking like the Mark Reynolds we know and love to face, Adam Jones striking out when it counts, and the Yankees reminding Jim Johnson why Mariano Rivera is the greatest of all time. Full write-up coming tomorrow, but the Yankees accomplished what they needed to do: win 1 in Baltimore. Pulling one out tomorrow would be huge, but we’re playing with house money.

P.S.- Russell Martin. The home run was nice, but the unsung heroic moment(s) of this game were his defensive plays in the 5th. Pouncing on Lew Ford’s swinging bunt and then a couple stops behind the plate to save a run that would have completely changed the complexion of the game. This one’s for you, Canada.

P.P.S.- Seriously, someone find me that teary eyed angel so I can take her out da hood. Fuck everything Baltimore.