This story fucking sucks bro

LONDON — Fantastic fibbers vied at a remote pub in northwestern England on Thursday for the title of world’s biggest liar. Judges were deliberating into the night after two hours of competition at the Bridge Inn in the Lake District hamlet of Santon Bridge. Contestants had five minutes to impress the judges with a whopping but convincing lie. Last year’s winner was nuclear power plant worker Glen Boyland, for an improbable story about racing snails with Prince Charles. Politicians and lawyers are barred from entry, as they are considered to have an unfair advantage. The competition was founded in honor of 19th-century Bridge Inn landlord Will Ritson, who was renowned for his tall tales. The event was sponsored by local brewer Jennings, which has produced a World’s Biggest Liar ale to mark the event.

Great story about catching a big fish, old man. That lie fucking sucked. Literally its like the most common lie ever. That and saying you fucked a ton of chicks. Two worst lies ever. Try walking a mile in my shoes. For 2 straight years I built a smut empire in New York City right underneath the nose of my employers. Had an entire team of accountants – who’s jobs it was to detect fraud – who had no idea I was a smut slangin wordsmith. I’ll never forget my manager telling me I wasn’t “managing my time well.” Uhh, yea I was, toots. Meanwhile I had millions of Stoolies convinced I was living on welfare checks stealing internet from my neighbors laying in my boxers all day. Nobody on either side of the fence knew the truth. Greatest liar of all time. The Internet’s Heisenberg. I’d runaway with this Worlds Biggest Liar in a fucking heartbeat.