As you may have heard, there was a certain, shall we say… incident at Yankee Stadium the other night. For those of you lazy fucks who aren’t gonna click the link, allow me to provide a brief synopsis. Girl Red Sox fan inexplicably wears a Red Sox jersey to the Yankees/Tigers game, and long story short, she gets drop-kicked, smashes her head on the railing, spills popcorn everywhere in the process and blows up on the Internet. So KFC texts me Sunday night (interrupting To Catch a Predator) asking me to find her. Well low and behold, through the use of Google and Facebook and the CIA and shit, drop kickee has been found.

In fact she even took some pictures the night of the game, prior to the late inning smack down:

Kinda cute when she’s conscious, huh? Here’s another one:

Little did she know that in only a few hours, her face would be all over the Internet, as well as the bottom of that girl’s boot. I assume she looks a bit more Terri Schaivo-ish now after the fall which HAD to scramble some brain. Let’s get one thing straight. What happened to her was fucked up and terrible, and by no means a deserved outcome to her actions, no matter how belligerently instigative she was. Anybody who kicks someone down the stairs in the upper deck of Yankee Stadium deserves some Code of Hammurabi eye-for-an-eye shit. But Red Sox chick threw the first punch and put herself in that position. Can’t stop the freight train once it gets going. There’s no timeouts in drunken stadium brawls. I wish her a speedy recovery, and hope that if there does turn out to be permanent damage, it’s only to the part of her brain that green lighted the idea to wear a Red Sox jersey to a Yankees/Tigers game and throw fistacuffs.