#IdTradeJasonBayFor…
So yesterday I watched Jason Bay run full speed into the wall with his eyes closed as a double whipped right past his face off the fence. And as he stumbled after the balling rolling back towards the infield with his hat falling off and his sunglasses in his mouth, I realized – Jason Bay is the worst player in Major League Baseball. Thats when I received this tweet:
And then me and the Stoolies just went wild:
Literally hundreds of proposed Jason Bay trades started flowing in. Everything from AIDS to brain dead people to, what I think might have been the most offensive of them all, Keith Van Horn’s socks. Just the most worthless and undesirable shit in this world in exchange for the most worthless and undesirable player in baseball. Its my goal to get #IdTradeJasonBayFor trending worldwide. Which essentially just means getting all the black people who dominate twitter to start using it. But the good news is we’ve got about 150 games to go in which Jason Bay will do countless things to inspiring more potential trade scenarios, By the end of this season I will reach my goal.
2 doubles, 2 homers, 1 stolen base, 5 walks in 13 games. OPS and OBP slowly climbing. Out of all the things wrong with the Mets, this is what you chose to shit on? Beggars can’t be chosers man
#IdTradeJasonBayFor A-Rod’s centaur self portrait
#Idtradejasonbay for Lance armstrong’s cancerous nut
#IdTradeJasonBayFor Payne Stewarts Leer Jet
I’d trade Jason Bay for Darryl Strawberry’s coke straw.
#IdTradeJasonBay for Joaquin Phoenix’s hair lip
#IdtradeJasonBay for sportsphan1
#IdTradeJasonBayFor Magic Johnsons Aids
#IdtradeJasonBay for Brett Favre’s ankle brace
#IdtradeJasonBay for for all of your mothers
#I’d trade Jason Bay for Joe Niekro’s nail file.
#IdtradeJasonBay for Stewart Scotts left eye
^ and his right eye
#IdTradeJasonBayFor all 12 of Cromartie’s unborn children
#IdTradeJasonBayFor – Carl Crawford
I’d trade Jason bay for scott
#IdTradeJasonBayFor 1 packet of Big League Chew
a 12 pack & bernie madoff
#IdTradeJasonBayFor thurmon munson’s pilot
#IdTradeJasonBayFor putting Todd Hundley back in left field….and that’s 2012 Toddy H.
#idtradejasonbayfor Jose Canseco’s testosterone level
#IdTradeJasonBayFor George Brett’s double-tapered shit
not to break the chain, but is it me or is KFC coming out of the closet as a racist?
#IdTradeJasonBayFor a version of Harry Potter where he gets raped
#IdTradeJasonBayFor greg louganis’ pool
#IdTradeJasonBayFor Beltran’s Mole
the “uta pippig’s underwear” one was the clear winner from yesterday. yes, it would be funnier 10-15 years ago, but that was still gold.
#IdTradeJasonBayFor a Precious sex tape.
#Id trade Jason Bay for Jeremy Lin’s math skills.
im a met fan hope this guy can put together a solid two years, to show us that hes not the biggest bust in Met History. But its a long season you never know when hes going to go on a hot streak. But if he shits the bed #IdtradeJasonBay for a a roll of tins or a pack of lucky strikes
#IdTradeJasonBay for Dick Clark’s heart
#idtradejasonbay for elpres’s grandparents auschwitz ashes
#IdTradeJasonBayFor absolutely nothing in return
#IdTradeJasonBayFor David Ortiz as a pinch runner
#IdTradeJasonBayFor an additional $50 million tacked on to Bobby Bonilla’s contract
#IdTradeJasonBayFor KFC’s chances with the Smokes from the Yankees game.
Mike Bibby’s crossover.
Chris Herron’s willpower.
Jason Kidd’s jump shot.
Jerry Sandusky’s clown suit.
#idtradeJasonBayFor whitney houstons rayj coated uterus
#IdTradeJasonBayFor…Bobbi Cristina’s future.
#IdTradeJasonBayFor pat summit’s brain
#IdTradeJasonBayFoor a pack of sour cherry big league chew
#IdTradeJasonBayFor Nick Swisher’s spitter
#IdTradeJasonBayFor Cory Lidle’s flight instructor, that Italian Soccer player from last week, Rick Peterson’s jacket, Pedro’s midget, Tom Glavine’s two front teeth, Steve Phillips’ ESPN Intern, Jose Lima, and a player to be named later…
the “pat summit’s brain” comment takes the cake
#IdTradeJasonBay for a 2 hour session of draw something with Michael J. Fox.
#IdtradeJasonBayfor Ted Williams head
#IdTradeJasonBay for a 8 hour unsupervised visit between my 10 yr old son and Jerry Sandusky!