So yesterday I watched Jason Bay run full speed into the wall with his eyes closed as a double whipped right past his face off the fence. And as he stumbled after the balling rolling back towards the infield with his hat falling off and his sunglasses in his mouth, I realized – Jason Bay is the worst player in Major League Baseball. Thats when I received this tweet:
And then me and the Stoolies just went wild:
Literally hundreds of proposed Jason Bay trades started flowing in. Everything from AIDS to brain dead people to, what I think might have been the most offensive of them all, Keith Van Horn’s socks. Just the most worthless and undesirable shit in this world in exchange for the most worthless and undesirable player in baseball. Its my goal to get #IdTradeJasonBayFor trending worldwide. Which essentially just means getting all the black people who dominate twitter to start using it. But the good news is we’ve got about 150 games to go in which Jason Bay will do countless things to inspiring more potential trade scenarios, By the end of this season I will reach my goal.