If Dodgeball Was An Olympic Sport, Who Would Be Your Starting 5
Great question from the Twittersphereonation. Starting 5 for Olympic Dodgeball:
1. Mike Vick – Most mobile motherfucker on the planet. Mike Vick would be the greatest Dodgeball player of all time
2. Cam Newton – Mike Vick Jr.
3. Bryce Harper – Got an absolute cannon for an arm and is fast and athletic as fuck. Plus he’s got that cocky arrogance factor. Dude would be head hunting and laughing at the fat Canadians with the nose bleed after he gives them a Voit facial
4. Justin Verlander – Dude throws absolute GAS. You ever take a 100MPH dodge ball to the dick? Could kill a man
5. Team Captain – Bo Jackson – I don’t care how old he is now, he’s the most versatile athlete of all time. Bo knows dodgeball. Bo knows how to physically dominate an opponent. Bo knows.
There’s a million different combinations though. Sound off in the comments section, who ya got?
Jesus, Santa Claus, Oscar the grouch, Michelangelo from TMNT, and your morher’s black @$$hole
Ichiro is my first pick. Cannon arm, small frame that’s hard to hit, and lightning quick. Also, he’s a cocky motherfucker. Rajon Rondo is my second pick, again, skinny frame, lightning quick, and long arms. Also, used to be a QB, so he’s got a good arm. Deion Sanders in his prime is my 3rd pick, one of the fastest guys to ever play sports, great hands, small frame. Darelle Revis and Ozzie Smith in his prime would be my last 2 picks. That team would be unbeatable.
i feel like Peter La Fleur has to be in this group
Lebron james, calvin johnson, mike vick, victor cruz, aroldis chapman
1.Randy Johnson “The Big Unit”: Intimidating, rocket arm.
2. Patches O’Hoolihan: Natural born leader, Floor general.
3. Lebron James: I hope he gets beheaded.
4. Kate Upton: Great set of tits.
5. Bumholio: Undisputed best player on Earth.
The starting 5 from the 2012 WNBA Champions Minnesota Lynx. Done.
No Brainer.
1- Stephen Hawking
2- Chelsea Clinton
3- Michael J. Fox
4- Simon Birch
5- Charles “Corky” Thatcher
brian bosworth, Prime Time Deion Sanders, jennie finch, Red Power Ranger, GRONK
^that guy might kill you and make love to your dead body KFC. Can is too tall, too much leg to peg.
Unclekevin that is
Ralphie May, Roseanne Bar, Lavell Crawford, Rosie O’donnel, Gabriel Iglesias
im nervous for the comedic future of america with some of these comments which are supposed to be funny
Benny the Jet Rodriguez, Adam Banks, Kevin Durant, Jeff Goldblum, Urlacher
Kenny fucking Powers, GRONK, Thor, Hope Solo and Steve Buscemi
If we’re talking in their prime:
1. O.J. Simpson: Natural born Athlete, Natural born Killer. Deadly combo in the dodgeball world.
2/3. Calvin Johnson/Aroldis Chapman: Package deal here. Have Megatron following Champan around catching everything thrown his way and hand the ball off to let Chapman unleash 100+ mph fastballs. Not sure if Calvin can throw or Chapman can catch so they gotta be a combo.
4. R.A. Dickey: Can a dodgeball knuckle? I’d like to think so.
5. Pablo Sanchez: The greatest backyard athlete of all time. Baseball, Basketball, Football, and now Dodgeball. Throw him on the field and he’ll dominate.
Yessss hooligan. Pablo is auto draft
Blazer, Alf, Ronald Reagan, Ollie Perez, Liam Neeson
wes welker, dwight howard, team captain andrew luck, rajon rondo, mike trout
@meriweathershelmet…….you’re aware ichiro is japanese right?
1. roger clemens- electric fastball, passion and atitude I’m looking for.
2. raul mondesi- average fielder, fired laser guided missiles from right back in his prime.
3. pacman jones- great all around athlete, brings the thug factor
4. kim kardashian- could definitely be a gold glover with that ass that has been hollowed out by many a large and notable ebony rods
5. floyd $ mayweather- slips punches like its nothin, i don’t think anyone could hit him with a ball from more then 10 feet away
6. (come off the bench player) gianluigi buffon: italian national team goal keeper, hands soft as a baby’s ass but his grenade toss delivery style definitely disqualifies him as an every day player let alone a 5 tool player
id also try to acquire jamie moiyer from free agency if a deal could be worked out. he would bring the change of pace we need with his bottomless arsenal of off speed delights
1) Fulton Reed
2) Brock Lesnar
3) Chris Ozstriker
4) Rick Vaughn
5) Usain Bolt
I would not take El Pres. That nose is just way too big, an easy target if there ever was one.
Roster doesn’t matter just as long as Bodie Miller is on the squad.
1. Mike Vick athletic, aim, throws fast. 2. Gronk self explanatory 3. Kendra Wilkinson (distraction/ athletic enough to make a big play) 4.Maurice Jones-Drew because hes small but has so much muscles in his legs that he can throw like a 70mph dodge ball. 5. team captain CHUCK NORRIS. 6. alternate Jerry Rice because he can catch anything.
1. Sandy Koufax
2. Kirk Gibson
3. Daryl Strawberry
4. Jackie Robinson
5. Mike Piazza
All were great Dodgers
Skiumortensen, Japanese? Like from Japan? Are you sure?
1. Vick 2. Newton 3. RG3 4. Russell Wilson 5. Jake Locker. Everyone else is just dead wrong. You gotta go with athletic quarterbacks.
Are athletic quarterbacks a better play than all-pro wide receivers? If every time the opposing team throws a ball it’s caught, then it’s game over.
1. Hurricane Peter McNeely
2. Stone Cold Steve Austin
3. Uncle Rico from Napoleon Dynamite
4. Peter North (made a career out of delivering balls to the chin)
5. Anna Siembor (innate ability to completely avoid balls completely)
Pregame speech by none other than Ray Lewis. Gold medal. Done.
I don’t care if the other team is made up of 5 Larry Fitzgeralds. The dudes I mentioned are super athletic and definitely have great hands as well. Now that you mentioned it I’d prob sub in Brad Smith for Locker.
Dy-lan, Dy-lan, Dy-lan, Dy-lan, and Dy-lan. Just kidding…a young Dro Man, circa 1988 is really all you need. 4th/5th grade, just in my absolute dodgeball prime. Stupid dodgeball game.
Peter LaFleur, LeBron, Pedro Martinez, Keisha Phillips, Barry Sanders.
the starting line of little people big world for their lack of height advantage
all you need is pip and cartman on the sideline calling him names. take out entire teams with one shot.
also, +1 to Mike Felger
Gronk, for absolute demolition. Pedro Martinez, for speed. Wes Welker, to get the others out. Kate Upton for distraction. and Samuel L. Jackson for moral support.
Justin Verlander…..Michael Vick….Calvin Johnson…..Josh Cribbs…..Kate Beckinsale.
patrickewingsasshairs.. Is Muhammed Ali their coach?
barstoolhooligan has something with his 2/3 combo. cant be beat. plus chapman is a left so you know that suckers gonna have movement
billy madison, rapes those elementary fuckers. jonah hill, just kidding, anyone from ninja warrior. alotta fagina, because. ricky bobby, hes on fire. lance armstrong’s nut.
Me and my brother and any three randoms back in the day, doesn’t matter. Complete domination in every phase of the game. We barely escaped jail time for murdering people at dodgeball.
joe namoth, john elway, tom brady, bret farve and mike tyson
@patrickewingsasshairs. Greatest comment on here, but I might add warren from something about mary as an alternate
jeff dahmer, ed gein, jack the ripper, Son of sam, and O.J. Simpson. we would kill it
Guys I have put serious thought into this .. this team is unstoppable.. 1. Racheal Ray 2. Danny Devito 3. Micheal Moore 4. Al bundy 5. Lisa Lampinelli
^ painfully unfunny
ussr. every time.
How is it a discussion?…Neo from the Matrix. Try to hit him. I dare ya.
Putin-Lucic-Gronk-Mirabelli and Sarah Palin
1. flash cant hit someone u cant catch 2. superman can stop a bullet 3. neo from the matrix if you can dodge a bullet you can dodge a ball 4. mister fantastic can just stretch his arm to the opponent and drop it 5. invisible girl from fantastic four you can hit someone you cant see
1. Mike Vick, Most versatile QB to ever live, 2. Gronk, can catch anything and probably throw just as well, 3.Jennie Finch, Great arm and shes hot, 4. Rey Lewis, Intimidation and he can catch and probably Throw, 5. Lebron James, Crazy Athletic and an all around great athlete. COACHES, Patches O’hoolian and Bill Belichick.
Morgan Freeman as the commentator along with the dude from the Allstate commercials.
just tim tebow, by himself. win every time.
HOW THE FUCK DOES NO ONE HAVE KEANU ON THEIR TEAM??!?!!!! KEEEYYY OOONNN NEEEEWWWW. No one would touch the guy. Stoolies are retards. Has anyone seen the matrix or the replacements??? Guy was built for dodgeball
1. Verlander 2. Vick 3. Chapman 4. Vlad Guerrero 5. Antonio Alfonseca (Dude had six fingers on each hand and threw 95, what else could you ask for?)
^Alfonseca is a GREAT call.
The Hulk, Hulk Hogan, Rambo, T-1000 (obvious selection), Lui Kang (to throw fireballs of course)
I think any team would have to start with Mark Sanchez and then Tim Tebow, oh wait no that’s a terrible idea and a receipe for disaster. I think I may now be qualified to be the Jets GM.