Short of being an Entenmann’s taste tester, this is what I was born to do. I spend more time than anyone listening to these commercials. 666-6666. 777-7777. The jingles. The wraps. The lip syncing Asians. All day I watch these.

This is like when Costanza is an expert at Frogger and then it comes to life when he needs to get the arcade across the street. “Wait a minute. This looks familiar. This reminds me of something. I can do this.” This is my calling.

Any Stoolies who wanna lend a hand, join in. Send me lyrics, music, ideas for a video. Whatever you think. I will enter Carmel Idol.

I will win Carmel Idol. Now cue the motherfuckin music!