Huff Po -  In many Eastern countries, paying respects to the dead with earthly gifts — like food and money — is not an uncommon practice. But in Taiwan, some have taken ancestor worship to sexier heights, as strippers pole dance and peel off their clothes for the benefit of the deceased. According to an AFP report released Tuesday, pole dances and stripteases are commonly performed at religious festivals in some areas in Taiwan in order to “appease the wandering spirits.” In some cases, women dressed in tiny miniskirts and revealing brassieres shimmy and shake on stage in front an audience of men, women and children. However, though this may seem bizarre to some, it is neither a new nor terribly unorthodox practice — at least as far as Taiwan goes.

Now this is how you celebrate a dead guy. I can’t stand the way we do death now. Wakes have gotta be the craziest fucking thing in the world. Lets all stand around a funeral home decorated like its the 1970s with a dead guy in a box in the front of the room. Yea sounds like a real fucking hoot. Weirdest tradition of all time.

When I’m dead I want someone to pop me in an oven like 45 minutes after I kick the bucket. Instead of a wake I want my buddies to take me right to Flashdancers and plop my ashes right down on the stage. Want all my friends to get lap dances and eventually get kicked out for trying to finger the strippers. Then I want my funeral to just be a parade down the street with beer trucks and Eastern European dancers pole dancing off the back. Army of Stoolies marching behind me. It will be like the Million Man March meets Mardi Gras and St. Patricks Day but with a lot less black people and a lot more white drunks and naked chicks.