Telegraph – A sperm donor service aimed at matching women with anonymous celebrity dads – such as rock stars and famous athletes – will launch next year, its owners have claimed. Fame Daddy will offer would-be-mothers “top quality celebrity surrogate fathers” when it launches next February, according to Dan Richards, its chief executive. Prices will start at £15,000 for a premium sperm service from the clinic. The company’s website, which launched last week, claims that women can pick from a range of celebrated high-achievers when picking a prospective father for their offspring. The identities of each high-flying father will kept secret as the donors have been guaranteed anonymity. The men will also be required to sign a legal waiver of their rights to access to the child. However would-be mothers using the Fame Daddy clinic will be able to identify their area of achievement and other personal attributes. They can choose from donor dads who have excelled in a range of fields including sport, entertainment and business. The website lists a range of “sample profiles” of typical sperm donors, including an Oscar-winning actor, a member of the House of Lords and an ex-Premiership footballer. Last night Mr Richards admitted that the clinic has no real sperm samples “as of yet”. He said that the online descriptions are examples of the type of clientele that Fame Daddy “intends to attract”.

Hey Fame Daddy holla atcha boy! I got a few loads on deck to kick off your catalog of famous semen. Put a cup of my cum right in between Brad Pitt and David Beckham. I can just see it now – “Yes hi Doctor, I’m looking for a donor that is extremely good looking, incredibly witty, downright hilarious, with irresistible charm.” “You’re in luck! Follow me right this way to the KFC Wing of Semen.” I’d be the most prolific donor daddy in history. I’d probably father so many kids I’d eventually turn the world retarded from inbreeding. Text books will read “KFC – the man who’s cum was so irresistible the world went retarded.”

For real though being a part of the Fame Daddy catalog has gotta be the best club any man can join. I mean when you’re so successful or good looking that women crave your semen, thats when you know you’ve crushed life. The world wants to create as many humans as possible that have your genes because you’re just that much of a boss. I wonder who the number 1 overall pick for most women would be? Ryan Gosling? Ryan Reynolds? I guess those are the guys chicks want to fuck. They want  them to donate their cum by sticking their penis inside of them. But if you’re talking straight from a tube for the sake of breeding a kid, would chicks go with the nerdy, more intelligent route? Politicians and scientists? Tech nerds? If I had to guess – globally speaking – I think some European soccer player would be the most popular Fame Daddy. Within the tri-state area back here though I think your boy KFC would hold down the number 1 spot.

PS – I bet some chicks would pick Alex Rodriguez and the doctor would just swap his semen for Raul Ibanez’s for their own good.