So obviously all the talk in the NBA Finals right now is A) How Lebron is choking in the 4th quarter again, and B) How the Oklahoma City Thunder team rightfully belongs to the city of Seattle and the original Sonics fans. What a fuckin nightmare that is, huh? I remember when I was working at WFUV Sports at Fordham and the main producer of the station was an original Brooklyn Dodgers fan. He said the day that O’Malley moved them out west was the day he stopped being a baseball fan. He still watched local teams and loved the game, but he never adopted the Mets. Never switched over to the Yankees. Never rooted for some team out in Los Angeles that called themselves the Dodgers. It was like his girlfriend broke up with him and he just never fucked another broad. To this day it was one of the most depressing conversations I’ve ever had with someone.

At first when all this Sonics/Thunder chatter started I thought to myself, I think I’d still root for them. Again, with the girlfriend reference, its like trying a long distance relationship. Yea, they’re in a different city, but whats the big deal? You don’t get to see them as often and they are starting a new life, but you’re invested in it. Don’t wanna just give up. These are the guys I’ve invested in rooting for the past few years, I’m gonna see it through. But then I realized that A) You gotta ask yourself why that girlfriend chose to leave. No matter how you cut it, its a selfish move. I mean I fucking despise the Wilpons with all of my heart and they havent done anything close to relocating the Mets. If they ever pulled a stunt like that or were forced to sell to some asshole because of their personal Ponzi scheme losses who just took the team away, I don’t think I could tolerate continuing to root for the franchise. And B) In a long distance relationship your girlfriend inevitably ends up fucking someone else. Sharing a team with all the fans of the new city would be nauseating. You can’t really call them “bandwagon” fans per se. But seeing a bunch of new assholes wearing Thunder shirts on top of their collared button downs would probably drive me to not only stop rooting, but to kill myself.

But cheer up, Sonics fans – on a serious note the Thunder’s success is a good thing for you. Its drumming up how much support Seattle has for an NBA franchise. All this chatter about a still-rabid fanbase salivating at the thought of the SuperSonics one day resurrecting will lead a bunch of rich Jews somewhere to team up and bring basketball back to Seattle.