NY Post – A rabid Islander fan — and heckler of the hockey team’s owner — was arrested for allegedly spanking a 21-year-old woman after a game. Craig Stanley, of West Hempstead, was charged Sunday with forcible touching for bizarrely smacking the woman’s rear outside Nassau Coliseum as a way to “congratulate” her because it was her birthday. The 54-year-old Stanley “went up to her and slapped her buttocks,’’ a police source said. Stanley is well known at the Coliseum — he was once berated by Islanders owner Charles Wang to “sit down and shut up’’ during a February 2001 meeting with fans. At the forum, Stanley demanded Wang dump his team manager at the time, Mike Milbury. “What could you possibly see in him?” Stanley asked Wang three times. “Hey, it’s a done deal. [Milbury] is coming back,” Wang said at the time. “Sit down, and shut up.” Stanley defended himself, saying he didn’t even know the woman’s name. “I didn’t slap her butt. This is all blown up,” he said, insisting he hit the woman’s back. His arraignment is set for March 19.

Free Craig Stanley! Free Craig Stanley! The Islanders won on Sunday night and it was her 21st birthday. Thats an ice hockey miracle right there. Never been a more appropriate time for a spanking. Plus he didn’t hit her butt. Just slapped her back. No big deal.

I’ll be honest, as a Mets and Jets fan, theres just about nobody can make fun of. Nobody I can talk shit about. Except the Islanders. The Islanders are the ONE franchise more pathetic than the Mets and Jets. They are absolutely irrelevant. Completely pointless. Absolutely nobody other than Craig Stanley and like 25 fans in Nassau County care about them. Their owner is Asian. A fucking Asian hockey owner. Makes no sense. Their stadium is a dump. They once were a hocke dynasty and now they are completely insignificant. If it wasn’t for John Tavares, the Islanders could disappear off the face of the earth right now and absolutely nobody would care.

I mean I’ve been writing Barstool New York for like 4 years and I don’t think I’ve ever written one Islanders blog. Unless some drunk old man spanks girls outside the Coliseum, they basically don’t exist in my mind. Probably the saddest, most meaningless franchise in all of sports.