NY PostAre you Jewish and single? There’s an app for that. Yenta, a new iPhone application that connects Jewish singles based on their location, debuted about a month ago, the latest in niche matchmaking. Somewhat similar to the gay application Grindr, the free mobile dating service uses GPS technology to allow users to peruse the profiles of nearby Jews. The profile asks questions like “How Jewish are you?” “What’s your shtick?” and “What will impress your mother?” There are 10,000 users worldwide. “You can walk into a coffee shop and you can find out who’s Jewish and single around you,” said creator Luba Tolkachyov. “[The dating site] JDate is kind of the traditional model. To be able to log on to [Yenta], you have to go out. There’s no need for the lengthy profile — now we can see who’s single and near us.

I have a Gentile question – why can’t you Jews get laid? Whats that about? Every time I turn around theres always some story about Jews trying to find each other and fuck. The old running joke about mothers always trying to set up their Wej sons. Then there’s J-Date, which is just online Jew pimping. Every year they have the Matzo Ball at Christmas where they throw a big orgy bash and fuck each other.  Whats the deal with all these drastic steps to get your dicks and pussies fucked? The Gentiles don’t need apps, or the internet or pre-arranged orgies. Do the Jews really need all that? Or is it just another one of their Chosen Tricks? Convince the world they’re awkward and alone so that people make iPhone apps where you can just turn your Jew-meter all the way up to Super Jew and some chick will find you on the corner and suck your dick on the spot? Because if thats another one of their Hebrew plots, then I fucking tip my yarmulke to you my friends. Brilliant. Play possum with your dicks until you’ve got everyone you know and the entire internet setting you up with Rebekah who likes to give head and do anal.