KFC,

I was at my buddies super bowl party tonight and he paid Takeru Kobayashi to come to his house and eat a dominoes pizza in under a minute…which he did and I have video. I can send videos asap let me know if you are interested in putting them up

Andrew

Is this absolutely the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever heard? Thats a serious question right there. Could genuinely be the most preposterous thing I’ve ever heard. I don’t know whether to call it a power move or a hardo move or just a flat out hilarious move. But having Takeru Kobayashi come to your Super Bowl party and then challenging him to eating stunts like he’s some kind of goddam slave is downright outrageous. Like “hey guys come by around 5pm I got wings, beer, guacamole, pigs in a blanket, and Japanese Competitive Eater Takeru Kobayashi. Should be a good time.” You’d think the least these guys could do would be get him a real fucking pizza. Poor bastard is obviously already strapped for cash, forced to degrade himself to the likes of a circus monkey performing tricks for the Round Eyed Devil. Now he’s gotta eat Dominos pizza? Christ where’s the humanity guys? Throw the guy a bone and get him a real pie next time you’re having him perform stupid human tricks for you.

I just have so many questions about the whole thing. How much does this cost? Do you pay him in American dollars or Yen? Does he come with an escort or some sort of liaison? Like when you hire strippers to a bachelor party and they come with a bodyguard? Did he stay for the game? Is that even actually Takeru Kobayashi? All Asians look alike so theres like a 50% chance thats just a random Asian guy stuffing his face with pizza and I’ve been duped. My mind is racing right now.

PPS – Here’s extra video of a chugging contest between Kobayashi and one of the guys at the party. Just downright depressing to watch this one-time Nathan’s Hot Dog champ getting smoked and taunted by some drunk clown. How the mighty have fallen.