So I engaged in a little twitter war today with a couple of idiots regarding whether or not its acceptable to send smiley faces to chicks when you’re texting. Namely, Tall One and The Pizza Boy. I am a staunch supporter of saying or doing absolutely whatever it takes to achieve your goal. You’re trying to fuck a girl, get a girl to go on a date with you, make a chick your girlfriend, whatever. You wanna send smiley faces, frowny faces, pictures, jokes, questions, games, fuckin riddles, go for it. Who cares what you send as long as you get the girl.
Well I got these hardo young bloods who just graduated college, Tall One and Pizza Boy, acting like fuckin Mystery and Styles declaring what is acceptable to text and what is not in order to get laid. Meanwhile they’ve just spent the past 4 years in college where “hey I:m outsidfe your domr doo u wnat 2 fuk?” is enough to get you laid. These fuckin kids proclaiming there’s no situation where its ever acceptable to send a smiley face like its some sort of knock on your manhood. Saying they don’t “need” to use them. What does that even mean? Like a smiley face is some sort of lifeline cheat code that instantly gets you laid but they refuse to use them because they think they have such good text game. Grow up, Peter Pan, Count Chocula. You’re in the real world now. You’re gonna meet chicks of every walk of life – not a bunch of cookie cutter dick craving college sluts. Text game is 200% going to be a case by case basis.
What if the very first thing she says to you at the bar is that she hates emoticons and she’d never fuck a guy who sends smiley face text messages? First text you send her you include a sarcastic smiley face to make fun of her and push her buttons. Thats text game. What if her fuckin puppy dies and you throw her a text with a frowny face to show her you’re not just a drunk idiot looking to fuck. Thats text game. The frowny face with tears is an incredibly versatile sarcastic tool that can be used as a joke. There’s a million scenarios where using smiley faces can help. Its not a necessity, I dont really use them very often. But I’m not some hardo who acts like you’re not a man if your do. Those guys are like the same guys who think its lame to use the backboard playing basketball. Knowing how to use smileys is like being Tim Duncan – most complete game on the court banking your way to a career long dynasty.
Time to vote. Vote 1 for under no circumstances should a man send a smiley face vote 10 for I don’t care what you text as long as you get the job done