KFC: Dislocated my shoulder, gonna go to docs tomorrow for MRIs and shit u might be solo.
Kmarko: Fuck did you do that
KFC: Crushed by a wave.
Listen I pretty much invented the get-out-of-class/work/commitment routine. Like I said I’m positive I hold the US record for most excused absences in the history of academics. But even this one had me baffled. I mean crushed by a wave? Really? Tell me your car broke down on the LIE. Tell me your train fell off the rail. Tell me the Jitney turned into the fucking Magic School Bus and you blasted off into the solar system and fucked Ms. Frizzle on Saturn’s rings. I don’t care. Just don’t lie to me bro. Don’t you lie to me. You want to stay out in the Hamptons and barback at the Boardy Barn an extra day? Be my guest. It’s all good. Just save me the sob story about how you can’t blog because you broke your arm boogie boarding with the 8 year old girls because I wasn’t born yesterday.