Hands down one of the few things that makes me not regret flushing my life down the toilet to be a blogger is when a new Japanese Zoo Drill video comes out. 2011 was the escaped tiger. 2012 was the escaped papier mache rhino. Welp looks like 2013 is the year of the Zebra! Probably the most unrealistic to date, and thats saying a lot. Zebras don’t even walk on two feet, you idiots.

But I will say, bravo on that fake death, Asian Zebra Man. Bravo! Thats the kinda shit that makes people take these drills seriously, you know? Like when you’re a kid and you have a fire drill you just kinda go through the motions and you don’t actually learn how to prepare for a fire. But when zebras are knocking motherfuckers out and acting out tranquilization, thats the kinda stuff that will actually prepare Japanese Zoo Soldiers for escaped animals when an earthquake hits.