“Going to see the tree” is the same fucking thing each year. So every year from now until the end of time, you get the same blog on it.

People always ask me this time of year “Hey KFC are you going to see the tree!”

Yea sure thing folks! Let me go traipse down to the heart of Rockerfeller Center, the only place in Manhattan that is more crowded with asshole tourists than Times Square, all so that I can have a gigantic tree in my field of vision. I’ll meet you there!

For sure not. If you’re over the age of 10 and don’t understand me not wanting to go there I don’t respect you as a person. And listen don’t call me Scrooge. Don’t say I’m some soulless J Double O who hates Christmas. I love Christmas. Best holiday of the year. But that doesn’t mean I wanna go stand outside in the cold next to 80 million little kids and photographer Asians. For real what does “going to see the tree” even entail? You grab your girlfriend and head down to Rock Center and you open your eyes and now have seen the tree. Then what? Ice Skating? BAH! Sure thing toots let me just strap on my figure skates. Go to some overcrowded over priced restaurant? Yea that sounds like fun too. At least with apple picking there is an actual activity, albeit a stupid one, that goes along with the idea. But “going to see the tree” just means going to a spot in Manhattan and looking at something.

I’d rather stay in the comfort of my own apartment wearing a reindeer Christmas sweater listening to the Justin Bieber Christmas album decorating my own tree.

PS – One more thing – it never fucking changes. Still looks like a big green tree with lights on it. Just like last year.

Only tree you need to worry about is KFC’s