Huff Po – Love Joule, a colorful new bar in the Shibuya district Tokyo, is the first “love and sex bar dedicated to women,” according to the Tokyo Reporter. What does this mean, exactly? Proprietor Megumi Nakagawa minces few words. ”Once they take a seat, customers are able to experience a pleasant place in which they can openly discuss masturbation,” she said. “Since most people view female masturbation as something of a mystery or taboo, it is not a usual topic at typical bars.” It’s hard to imagine not talking about the bar’s unique theme. Behind the counter, where rows of liquor bottles would normally stand, are colorful display cases filled with dozens and dozens of different types of vibrators. The spot is already a hit with women in the commercial sex and burgeoning adult film industry, according to its Facebook page, which sites former adult video star Nayuka Mine and model Sayo Hayakawa as customers. Akiko Teishi, a reporter for blog Bikyamasr.com, visited the bar recently and spoke to some of its patrons. “I go because it is a safe place and I don’t have to worry about trying to brush off men all the time,” said a customer going by the name Sayama. “Add in that it is also a great place to drink and talk about what we women love to talk about, sex and guys, that’s also a big pull.” The sanctity of the space is preserved by a policy prohibiting single men from entering– men are only welcome if they are accompanying a woman, according to Rocket News.

This bar sounds like it fucking sucks. When I think of Japanese masturbation bar I think of a bunch of Geisha bitches on barstools blasting themselves with vibrators. Squirting each other from across the bar in all different directions like a series of sprinklers going off at different times. Fuckin slip and slide down the middle of the bar where you can slide from one end to the other. “Excuse me waitress! Can I get a round of dildos? 4 butt blogs and 2 clit blasters? And see that cute girl at the end of the bar? Send her the Big Black Thunder Cock and tell her its on me. Here’s my card leave it open!”

Instead you know what this bar is? Its a bunch of broads sitting around squawking about boys and their vaginas and shit. You know what that is? Just a normal fucking bar. Thats what chicks do every time they sit down anywhere. Only difference is instead of bottles of liquor on the shelves there’s pussy blasters lined up. Oh boys aren’t allowed? Well then this is just a big old lesbian bar. Hopefully its all a front and behind closed doors these chicks all dyke out and spend the night scissoring and buying vibrators for each other. But this sounds suspiciously like a place for chicks to sit around and complain about how they can’t figure out how to work their pussies.