JapanIt appears zoos in Japan have an interesting way of practicing what they would do if a dangerous animal escaped. As this video conclusively shows. One of the trainers at Tama Zoo in Tokyo recently donned a tiger costume and ran around while colleagues chase him with nets and guns. 26-year-old Shuhei Yamaguchi had to pretend to be a Siberian Tiger which had broken free during an earthquake and go on an hour-long rampage of the attraction. Dressed in a none too convincing bright yellow costume, other staff used sticks and nets to restrain him, luckily they refrained from pulling the trigger on their tranquilliser guns. More than 70 members of staff are said to have taken part in the earthquake training scenario and Yamaguchi ended up in the escaped tiger costume after losing a game of paper-scissors-rock.

I don’t know about you guys but I bet the zoos in Japan are pretty fucking safe, no? I mean these are some pretty fucking legit drills. Not like those bullshit fire drills everybody used to do in elementary school. I remember the fire bell would ring and I’d pop out of my seat with a smile on my face. Get to miss out on class for like 20 minutes and get a breath of fresh air. Nobody took that shit seriously though. I bet if there was ever a fire in my school 1,000 elementary schoolers would have perished in flames.

But not the Japanese Zoo Keepers. They treat their escaped tiger drills like its life or death. Because guess what? Escaped mountain lions is life or death. You see that one dude laid out on the pavement? Dude is sheets, mauled by a fake tiger. Shuhei Yamaguchi was getting beat with sticks. His performance when he pretends to be tranquilized is Oscar worthy. Laugh it up if you want. Ha Ha Ha look at the crazians playing make believe dressing up like college basketball mascots! Ha Ha Ha. But when your kid gets mauled at the San Diego Zoo because American zoo keepers are too cool for escaped tiger drills, we’ll see who’s laughing then.

PS – People who say paper-scissors-rock need to jump off a bridge.