ESPN DallasIt might make the Dallas Cowboys the butt of jokes, but Jerry Jones will go pink for profit in his $1.2 billion football palace. A Victoria’s Secret PINK store will open Monday at Cowboys Stadium, a first at a professional sports stadium or venue. “We think it’s cute as a bug and very in place to show it and sell it out there,” Jones said Friday on KRLD-FM. The Cowboys sent out a news release promoting a ceremonial ribbon-cutting event that will take place a few hours before the Cowboys kick off against the Chicago Bears. Victoria’s Secret models Elsa Hosk and Jessica Hart will be among the dignitaries there along with Charlotte Anderson, Jones’ daughter and the Cowboys’ executive vice president for brand management. According to the release, Victoria’s Secret PINK is a “fully articulated lifestyle collection for young women that include bras, panties, loungewear and sleepwear.” The Cowboys Stadium store, which will be located on the main concourse club area above Entry A, will sell Victoria’s Secret PINK merchandise that features the Cowboys’ name and star logo.

I really, really want to hate on this. Just pile onto the gay dating site & Jerry Jones’ rap debut with some homophobic panty one-liners…but I can’t. Maybe it’s my own delusions, but when I think of Texas chicks, I think of hot cheerleaders, college sluts & Jessica Simpson in The Dukes Of Hazzard. It’s similar to believing every single broad in Brazil is a Reef Girl. So excuse me if I, as a Giants fan, finally have come across a reason to agree with the Dallas Cowboys being America’s Team. Because the first thing I thought of when I heard about a Victoria’s Secret at a professional sports stadium was the debacle in a stall at a Yanks game. Comparatively speaking, you got a much better shot getting laid at halftime in a VS fitting room. Plus, no piss, shit or puke AND your slampiece has a few lacy props for a quick dance to get your dick hard. Everybody wins. That’s my utopian America right there. Well done, Jerry Jones.

That doesn’t mean I no longer hope the Bears rape your faggoty asses tonight…