NEWSER) – Jerry Sandusky worked hard for his pension, and he doesn’t think he should lose it over a few dozenpesky rape convictions. The former Penn State coach has appealed a decision to revoke his $59,000-a-year pension, arguing that he’s still legally entitled to it, the AP reports. Sandusky officially retired from coaching in 1999, meaning he technically wasn’t a university employee when tougher pension forfeiture rules were imposed in 2004, his lawyer argues. The state’s pension board has argued that Sandusky remained a “de facto” employee at the time, but his lawyer dismisses that argument as “illogical and untrue.”
I ain’t a lawyer. I ain’t a judge. I don’t know how the penal codes regarding pension plans and statute of limitations and shit. Jerry Sandusky may legally be entitled to this pension. But I’m pretty sure we can just throw the Constitution and the Bill of Rights and all that other shit out the window and tell Sandusky to go fuck himself on this one. I think we should go ahead and make a 28th Amendment that just says “Fuck Jerry Sandusky. He doesn’t get anything.” I wish we could just send him off to some Third World Country and let them punish him. Don’t think you’d be too worried about your retirement package when you’re getting body parts chopped off and shit pal. Putin would probably beat him to death with his bare hands.
PS – Wonder if I’ll get a Barstool pension? Would love 60K a year in retirement. I’d be the only guy to make more money during his retirement if I could get that sort of pension