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NY Mag-

10. “Anybody know how to peel garlic?” —Mike “the Situation”

9. “You have your penis pierced. I love it.” —Jenni “JWOWW”

8. “I feel like this is beneath me. I’m a bartender. I do great things.” —Angelina “Jolie”

7. “Tits are coming out tonight.” —JWOWW

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6. “Time to get some Ron Ron Juice in my system.” —Ronnie

5. “Holy shit, I think I’ve got pinkeye.” —Vinnie

4. “It only takes nine pounds of pressure to break a nose.” —Pauly D

3. “I feel like eating ham and drinking water. Ham. [*raspberry noise*]“ —JWOWW

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2. “I will cut your hair while you’re sleeping.” —Angelina

1. “I love the Situation.” —Mike “the Situation”

So just like I knew would happen Jersey Shore is a smash hit.  Like people can’t stop talking about it.  I got kids texting and emailing me that I haven’t seen since the 8th grade asking me if I caught this new MTV show last night.  We got one of the head entertainment writers for the NY Daily News coming out and admitting she’s a Jersey girl through and through who went to Seaside Heights after prom and dated a guy from Manasquan.  Even FoxNews put together a “Jersey Shore Glossary” so people could understand what “pumping your fist” means.  It’s a worldwide phenomenon.  And the awesome part is this is all totally 100% true.  Like I know a lot of you were thinking come on, people aren’t really like that, they’re acting.  They think it’s fake like The Hills.  People are complaining that MTV is “fabricating lies about the guido.”  False.  This might as well be a documentary at Sundance.  Just pure unadulterated truth of the Jersey Shore experience through the camera lens.