HartfordIt doesn’t take much for Shannon Perry, to convince the children he coaches not to head the ball“It’s just not an instinctive thing to have something hit your head,” said Perry, director of Soccer Shots Connecticut. Sometimes it’s good to follow your instincts. Heading the ball, a common soccer move where a player hits the ball with the head to direct it, is an integral part of the game. But increasing concerns about head injuries among children in sports prompted Soccer Shots, a national program for children 2 to 8, to ban heading in all games. ”There was a time when we taught them about heading,” said Jason Webb, co-founder of Soccer Shots. “But we’ve become aware of the dangers.”  Concerns about concussions, a mild traumatic brain injury, in youth sports have intensified in the last few years. Emergency departments report treating about 175,000 sports-related TBIs in children and adolescents each year. Sports-related brain injuries have increased by 60 percent in the last 10 years, according to theU.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.”We just think that children this young don’t need to be heading soccer balls,” he said. “We don’t want to be a bystander, so we made a decision to remove heading altogether.”

Making soccer even more of a pussy sport was previously thought to be impossible. Its like trying to make water wet. Its like trying to make Perez Hilton more gay. I just thought it couldn’t be done. But here we are in the Snowflake Generation making the worst things in the world even worse because we’re afraid that a ball bouncing off a kids head every now and then is the end of the world. Whats next for soccer? Ban flopping? Its too dangerous for them to fall to the ground in pretend agony so we’re banning fake injuries now too. Before you know it we’re gonna be 20 years into the future and there’s gonna be a whole European league of soccer players who don’t do blow and don’t fuck prostitutes because in 2012 the world started a movement to ban headers and turn soccer from the most pussy sport in the world to the mostest pussy sport in the world.