Pull String Pinata - Are you planning a kid’s indoor birthday party? A pull string pinata is a great party game idea when celebrating a child’s birthday indoors. Pull string pinatas have been designed for parents who are concerned about the possible danger in having a kid beat a pinata with a buster bat. They also became the best alternative when the party had to be kept inside the house due to the weather. This gentler version is a good party game idea for small kids who can harm themselves with the traditional pinata party game. It also allows small kids to get by themselves in a safe way some of the party favors and candy that fall from the pinata. Another advantage of the pull ribbon feature of the pinata party game is that it allows all kids to open the pinata together. In the common version the pinata is broken by the strongest hitter and sometimes this happens even before some children can have a chance at beating it. Celebrate your kid’s birthday with this safe and fun party activity!

Well, I didn’t think it could get any worse after New York banned all the fun recess games. I figured there was nothing more innocent and classic and fun than playground games. Welp, I was wrong. The final step is children birthday party games, and the Pull String Pinata is the beginning of the end. First of all I can’t see any danger in a normal pinata. Sure, its a bunch of dizzy uncoordinated kids blindfolded swinging a blunt object as hard as they possibly can while their friends try to stand as close as possible. But it also teaches important lessons like you get rewarded for manual labor. Complete the difficult task and you get candy. Its basically the first lesson in economics. I mean what the fuck even goes on with a pull string pinata? You just walk up and pull the string and the candy falls out? Might as well just put that shit in a bowl and play the “Grab candy out of a bowl” game. Sounds real fucking fun. Gonna have a generation of people just walking around expecting to pull a string or push a button or pull a lever and get whatever they want.

I suppose next we’ll ban pin the tail on the donkey. Too cruel to the donkey and the blind people of the world. We’ll just hang up a picture of a donkey with it’s tail intact and we’ll play the game “Look at the picture of the donkey with the tail.” I tell you what – El Pres and all the Stoolies are always worried about this country becoming a bunch of pussies. I’m more worried about these fuckers growing up the most boring fucking people alive. This people of this country are gonna be the most uninteresting nation of all fucking time. Sit around talking about their memories doing yoga at recess and pulling strings at birthday parties. Riveting.

PS – I know I brag a lot but I’m being 200% serious when I tell you I was the best pinata smasher you have ever fucking seen. To this day nobody has ever broken a pinata quite like your boy KFC. Blindfold me. Spin me around. Whatever. Its like I had a 6th sense to locate that shit and I’d chop that shit in half with one swing like I was an Immortal from Highlander.