Kate Upton Agrees To Go To The Prom With That Kid From Yesterday
Well this is the world we live in, folks. A world where everyone just gets whatever the fuck they want at all times. You wanna go to the prom with a SI Cover Model, just ask her! She has to say yes or otherwise she’s a bully! Can’t hurt feelings anymore! Doesn’t matter that he’s not a Marine serving his country. Doesn’t matter that he’s not sick and this is his dying wish. He’s just a pimple faced punk who wants to go to the prom with a plus size model. And in the event she says her schedule doesn’t work and she doesn’t go with him, someone will probably set up a kickstarter fundraiser for him or something. This little idiot is either gonna play hide the salami inside Kate Upton’s back fat or walk away with like 10 grand probably. Thats just how the world works right now. If the world pities you, you get shit. Pity is king.
And they’ll probably win Prom King and Queen too. A short pimple faced slug and a fat chick – King and Queen. The world has become so backwards I just don’t wanna live anymore. I feel like Channing Tatum in the remake of 21 Jump Street when all he wants to do is wear his book bag with one strap and beat up nerds and make fun of gays but the whole school is now backwards and all the cool kids are socially aware nerds and shit. Bring me back to the time when super models needed to be anorexic to earn our respect and dorks like Jake don’t go to the prom with anybody, let alone an SI Cover chick. Thats when the world was real life.
Great lead off blog. Good start to the day. A+
KFC I’d love to see a side-by-side comparison of Upton and your prom date you fucking dweeb
Its so annoying reading your blogs now because for some reason you think you were a part of the cool kids back in high school. Lets be honest, you werent even close so it comes off as forced and not funny.
dead on kfc. i blame glee
100 dollars says she “checks her schedule”, says she’s busy and doesn’t go. She looks the good guy and still doesn’t have to go out with this Jake character.
I was the fuckin man in high school and she makes my pee-pee move.
Who shaves with their shirt on?
We all know you had oozing pimples, awful looks and took a fatty to prom…at least you finally blogged about it
$10,000 the school won’t let her go because she will be a distraction and ruin the expierience for the other students.
She agreed to go? If every girl that’s told me “I’ll check my schedule” or “let me see what’s going on first” that actually ended up going out with me then I would’ve banged 10x the amount of girls I actually have.
Jews, I tell you what…
this guy is probably a better qb than mark sanchez
got lip from a sassy fat black woman on the PATH today for 20 minutes straight because I didn’t give her my seat. Listen doll being fat isn’t a god damn disability it’s a lifestyle choice. WHY THE FUCK DOES EVERYONE FEEL SO ENTITLED TO THINGS THEY DON’T FUCKING DESERVE NOWADAYS! I need a gun and one bullet.
one of my coaches told me to go knock this loud mouth goth kid on his ass during gym class. i fucking laid the turd out…that was a time when everything in the world was so right
why are rich, jewish people so intolerable
That asking for a date shit is so CORNY that lil fag knows what hes doin because Kates a major slut so she obv agreed
also, KFC needs to have the shit kicked out of him. he is the rich pampered nerd that is now trying to act like a jock for whatever reason
what exactly does kate upton’s schedule look like.
wake up, put on bikini go to photoshoot
wake up, put on bikini go sit by and occasionally go into pool
wake up, put on bikini and make a video dancing to the latest fucking annoying song.
wake up, put on bikini go to nearest all you can eat buffet
Can’t be much more then that. I think she has time
watch your fucking tongue KFC. Kate is a saint, keep her name out of your mouth.
That last paragraph… if you included something about murdering the kardashians it would have been my favorite thing I’ve ever read. Bravo
This will undoubtedly be the worst night of her life.
You think she’ll go to Father’s Day brunch with me?
@cantgetthestinkout, to be fair it’ll probably be the last night of her life as well…
@gunner_kiel You’re absolutely right.
the world pity’s you kfc and yet you don’t get free shit? what gives?
@cereal, pretty sure he’s not claiming to have been the coolest kid in school. just that there was a hierarchy where jocks ran the school and good looking jocks got all the hottest chicks and people belittled the intelligent nerds, knowing they’d get their revenge later in life
I don’t use the word squid much, if ever, but this kid seems to be the definition of SQUID!!
As a former fat chick fucker, you can trust me when I say Kate Upton isn’t fat. Thick, maybe, but thick is okay.
she ain’t going. plus whats with this guy being handed his jacket by a dude in a robe? He’s gay right? this is a joke?
21 Jump Street reference is dead on.
Kate to her manager “Find me something to do that day… anything. Weight watchers? Fuck you, you’re fired.”
So many jabronis defending the honorable Kate Upton.
Goddammit, what happened to old fashioned good looks, charm, and athletic ability gets you laid?
ughhh so true. no way she comes though.
Kid just living the dream of rolling up to the prom with a Lane Bryant girl on your arm. And when I say Lane Bryant girl, I mean I’d still beat it out the frame with no hesitation.
Is it now taboo to hit nerds in the face in dodgeball? If so, FUCK THAT SHIT.
This begs the obvious philosophical question on which came first: the Youtube or the dillsack?
dude relax shes not that fat
stellar blog, legitimately had me laughing
A+, little pussies that don’t play sports shouldn’t even be allowed at prom. BTW, he was doing girl push-ups guaranteed.
the NAACP has to be behind this
A+ blog
KFC, don’t you get it? You were this poor schmuck in high school!
“I’ll check my schedule” = NO!
i hope this kid dies in a fire.
People read Sports Illustrated… I thought it was published just so there would be a male targeted magazine for dentist’s offices throughout the country.
kid has so much hair on his right nipple
This kid’s an asshole. 90% chance he gets a handy in the limo.
I bet this kid already came in his pants…. a few times.
kate upton is not fat and karen carpenter really wasn’t that skinny.