(NEWSER) – Katie Holmes is indulging in some hardcore retail therapy following her split from Tom Cruise—and the “closet’s worth” of new clothes she has reportedly purchased includes $14,200 worth of lingerie, Australia’s News Network reports by way of the National Enquirer. “She also bought 15 pairs of pricey Christian Louboutin shoes and went on a tear at Barneys New York department store, buying a closet’s worth of clingy cocktail dresses and power suits to wear to auditions and meetings,” says a source, adding that Holmes also hired a $9,500-per-month personal trainer. Earlier this week, Holmes moved her stuff out of the Beverly Hills home she and Cruise once shared, Radarreports. Tom is keeping that mansion, while Katie gets the one in Montecito. Things are apparently amicable enough between the former couple: Sources say they’re planning to take Suri to her first day of school together.
I’m telling you people – Katie Holmes is about to go on a tear. Just like anybody does when they get out of a bad relationship and they just wanna cut loose and go nuts. Except times a billion because she was married to one of the biggest homosexual lunatics on the planet. Imagine as a chick you’re married to a gay sociopath? And then you’re finally set free from his clutches? This bitch is gonna be on the PROWL. Just patrolling the country for dick. Like right now here are Katie Holmes’ standards:
1) Your dick gets hard at the sight of her being naked
2) You don’t believe that you’re an immortal alien trapped on earth
Thats it. Those are pretty low standards. I’m not even kidding when I say if you put my in the same room as Katie Holmes I could fuck her. Not bragging at all – I believe each and every one of you could too. She’s been set free, is dropping thousands of dollars on lingerie and heels and probably sex toys and all sorts of shit. Just wants a straight, sane man to break her off some dick.