MSN - During Manchester United’s clash against Real Madrid on Tuesday night, the referee issued a red card to Manchester player “Nani” — sending him off the field. The call annoyed an 18-year-old fan watching the game at home so much that he called 999 (Britain’s 911 equivalent) to report a crime. “The man realized his bad judgment and apologized and we decided not to pursue it further,” said Chief Inspector Ted Antill, sternly asking the public not to waste authorities’ time with nuisance calls.
Now I know we don’t do soccer much here on Barstool, but even I head about this red card. Completely fucked over Man U in the Champions League. I don’t know shit about soccer rules because everyone is always flopping left and right. I think it should be like in the NBA – if you’re going for the ball its not intentional. But then again he fucking kicked this guy in the stomach – soccer players act like they get shot when some kicks their shins, so theres no way a cleat to the gut isn’t gonna get a red card or whatever.
Anyway, enough about soccer. It just got me thinking about this kid who was so upset he called the fucking police to report this blown call. If you could have called 911 on one sports call in history, what would it be? The cops couldn’t change the call but lets say somehow the police at the very least could have charged the umpire/ref/official with a crime and ruined his life. Now for me, my life as a fan is pretty fucking pathetic. Not like I have one call that cost me a World Series or a Super Bowl or anything like that. So as per usual I’m going with my hateful, spiteful self. I’m calling 911 on left field umpire Rich Garcia for his Jeffrey Maier Home Run Call. Its basically the home run that launched a legendary hall of fame career of Derek fucking Jeter. Who knows – if Tony Tarasco just catches that ball or Rich Garcia calls fan interference, everything could be different. The O’s win game 1 and that whole series plays out differently. Maybe no 96 World Series for the Yankees. Maybe no Captain Clutch reputation for Jeter. Butterfly effect, man. That son of a bitch Jeffrey Maier and that idiot Rich Garcia started off a 15 year stretch of Derek Jeter misery for me and all Mets fans. Rich Garcia should die of gonorrhea and rot in hell.