Games Politics - A Vancouver high school student was assaulted by a group of people on Monday, all because the victim and his friends reportedly trash talked opponents after a victorious WarCraft III skirmish. The student in question was roughed up at Eric Hamber secondary school during lunch hour. The Vancouver Sun reported that the beating came following a WarCraft III: Reign of Chaos online battle in a Defense of the Ancients custom scenario, after which the winning team mocked the losers. “Four or five assailants,” described as in their late teens, tracked the boy to Eric Hamber, and “made him kiss their feet before hitting him with batons, breaking his fingers.” No arrests have been made yet, though Vancouver’s police youth squad continues to investigate the assault. Vancouver Police Constable Lindsey Houghton added, “I guess some people take these things exceptionally seriously.”
“I guess some people take these things exceptionally seriously”? You fucking serious Constable? This ain’t The Sims bitch. This is fucking Warcraft III. Reign Of Chaos. I mean I’m pretty sure these Warcraft dudes spend like 25 hours a day on this shit. Just eating popping pimples and sleeping all day and all night in their basements with like headsets and super gamer chairs and 10 mouses. I don’t care what activity it is we’re talking about, anyone that spends that much time and energy on one thing deserves to take it as seriously as they want to. And I totally don’t blame this kid for being pumped about his win either but you got to keep it classy. Never know when the opposing Guild has decrypting IP tracking software in which case that’s going to end with broken fingers 100 times out of 100. Like hey dude you wanna be a poor sport after you beat my ass in the Defense of the Ancients custom scenario? Well tell me how my fucking feet taste bitch and also this baton up your asshole. Good luck conjuring up a cloak of invisibility with a mangled clicker finger bro.
PS- $100 bucks says KFC has played at least 50 hours of Warcraft. Dude plays Final Fantasy and fuckin Magic cards. Wouldn’t surprise me in the least if he just lied about drinking all the time and spent his weekends Questing all over Azeroth.