Orange.UKA Chinese kindergarten ‘married’ off more than 100 toddlers as part of a lesson on family life. The brides and grooms – aged between three and six – were dressed in suits and wedding dresses to swap rings and make vows in front of a registrar in Zhengzhou, Henan province. Kindergarten head Li Wang explained: “They all chose their own partners and then they had to woo them. Maybe with some chocolates or a toy. This teaches them about relationships and how to maintain them and what we should all be working towards. They’re taught to be kind and thoughtful.” The parents had to agree to the ceremony and were given assurances that the ceremony that mimicked the real thing – if somewhat shorter in time and in the stature of those taking part – was not binding.

What are the odds that at least one of these little Chinese bitches grows up antisocial & awkward with an unhealthy love for the kid they married in kindergarten? While Wang Chung is growing up playing “hide the rainbow roll” with random future dry cleaners all throughout high school, Ming Ting is sitting at home praising his vigil daily. Lighting candles around their wedding day pic & the 15 year-old chocolate the teacher made him give her in a glass case on her dresser. Reciting their ching chang baby talk vows & the name of the only baby China will allow them to have over and over. This is the kinda shit that breeds psychos. Yeah, sure, it’s cute now – until Ming Ting offs Wang Chung in a murder-suicide because he didn’t mean it when he promised “until death do us part” at their kindergarten wedding.