Look At This Gem I Found While Unpacking At My New Apartment
So as everyone knows I spent last weekend moving and for the past week or so I’ve been unpacking my shit. I was like 99% done except for one zip up side pocket on a piece of luggage. In there I found some DVDs. Always Sunny seasons 1 and 2. Arrested Development season 2. Dexter season 4. And BOOM motherfucker Tera Patrick and Briana Banks Collision Course. Are you fucking kidding me with this find? I feel like those people who find an old baseball card collection in their basement worth like $2 million. I’m pretty sure I could sell this on eBay for like $500,000 as a porno collectors item, but the intrinsic value is much higher than that. This thing is priceless. Truth be told I don’t even remember where or when I got this, but I just went up 10 points in my own book for having this DVD. Its gotta be only 1 of like 2 or 3 porn movies I’ve ever actually owned. Nowadays its all just live streaming, not the good old tangible porn like this. I feel like a hipster who would rather listen to his vinyl records on his phonograph. I’m gonna pop in this standard definition DVD and punish myself better than ever. You new age fools can enjoy your live webcams and fake reality porn. I’m going with the classic, theatrical disc of pornography.
PS – You gotta choose Briana Banks over Tera Patrick every day of the week right?
of course Tera Patrick married Evan Seinfeld.
no way no how. tera patrick in a landslide. only dvd i have ever owned was her virtual one from digital playground.
tell your girlfriend you are going on the sex IR for a week.
Briana banks all day err day. Tera Patrick looked like the old Asian guy I used to buy doughnuts from, just with huge tits and a sideways vagine.
Tera was very dedicated to anal, tough call.
That’s a $30 bill right there.
I used to feel like owning a porn video made me closer to the porn stars. Weird stuff.
I was going to ask why you would ever buy a porn dvd, but I looked it up and it came out in ’04. That’s probably like a year before the golden internet porn days, nice purchase
i never had patience to dig up the place to find the dvd, turn on the dvd player, wait for it to load, then ff to the 5 seconds of glory that i needed.
way easier to xhamster “i was tight yesterday”.
anyone who says Tera Patrick is not white
anyone who says brianna banks uses old spice body wash.
Your new apartment? Let’s call a spade a spade and say it’s your chicken head girlfriend’s new apartment.
You should have that shit playing nice and loud when the old lady returns home from her real job!
did anyone ever walk into a porn store for the first time at age 18, staring at the ground in embarassment only to look up and find yourself in the gay section…while the girls at the front desk laugh at you? yea me either
Tera Patrick pre-implants, perfect.
I actually have “Brianna Loves Jenna” in my collection (actually, that IS my collection).
Love Tera, but Brianna brings the goods everytime.
I don’t remember if you said it KFC but someone was talking about how when you find Braveheart or another good movie on tv you have to watch it even though the DVD is right next to you. This is a gem man, there is something to be said about porn on DVD. I still feel it is better than the free shit just like the clips in the side bar of youjizz always look better than anything you can find for free.
no doubt Briana was hot and all that, but Tera Patrick in her prime ( I agree pre-implants) was truly one of the greats. used beat my shit like it owed me money back in the day to her, way back when you had to buy the DVD’s , or download it off limewire and shit..
As much as I love the new girls (Natalia Rossi, anyone?) This old shit just gets me every time. And my dick. Of course it gets my dick every time.
by bayarealove on December 12, 2012 at 2:16 pm
How the fuck do you confuse Tera Patrick with an old asian guy that you use to buy doughnuts from? You must have gotten hit with the double whammy of being blind as well as loving cock
Briana Banks 24/7. She is the GO TO gal to get off on. Deep Throat like you read about. Killer body
04 you better believe you could find porn online. I was doing that shit in the summer of 2002. I fucked up a dell computer or two. It happens.
Brianna Banks was busted in a DUI. Looking busted. Tera for the win http://jalopnik.com/5965872/porn-star-briana-banks-arrested-for-dui-in-a-mcdonalds-drive+thru
I enjoy the Tera scene when Nina Mercedez is munching on her box.
time to crack stick!
don’t get all artsy on me now KFC
$30 dollar bill……fucking funny